The good the bad and the poorly......

Hello from a very wet part of Middle England. All vague plans to start weeding a raised bed are shelved. I thought the rain was due tomorrow, but it came today instead. But I have started soaking the sweetpeas ready to be planted out tomorrow. I hope. Jean and I have gone through our substantial collections of seeds for spring and summer, and do not need to buy anything else. We have enough seeds between us to last years. And then some!

I have good news and bad news. The good news is that the mouse has vacated the premises, and seems to have been travelling alone. In the event that he has relatives in hiding, there are 7 traps scattered around. Just in case. All baited with Swiss chocolate, of course. I like to do things with style around here.

The bad news is that the flat roof over the extension housing the laundry area, and shower room downstairs has sprung a leak. Brown water coming down the walls. Oh joy. I had the Roof Man round to investigate, and he tells me that flat roofs last 10-15 years. This one was here before we moved in 20 years ago, so it has done well. It needs to be replaced. He said that roofing needs to be checked. WHAT?? That is definitely a blue job and not a pink one. And I have never felt moved to check a roof in my life. Oops. So Mr Roof Man will return next week to rip of the old and replace it with the new. Give me strength. I could do without these little annoyances. Unplanned annoyances.

However, one needs the rain to stay out, and I can't leave it, or the beams and ceilings will get ruined and we do not want to go there. Oh no we do not. It is just as well that my friends and I have decided to make March the month where we eat all the things in the freezers and cupboards, before we buy a thing.

I am off to Bath on Monday for what is probably the final visit to the hospital. They will always be available if I need to call or see them, but they will no longer be managing my condition. The GP and I will be doing that. They have taught me ways to cope and I just have to use them and adapt. Nothing else to be done. And in the meantime, this wretched cold virus thingy is playing havoc with my days. And nights. I sound as though I have the plague. But I have now invested in industrial strength day and night nurse medicine and will be retiring to the couch. The ripple blanket is growing nicely.

Have a lovely weekend!

An uninvited lodger.....

Life is full of excitement here, my friends...... the wrong kind of excitement. I have a small mouse in residence. I know this, because I caught a glimpse of it helping itself to a Swiss chocolate easter egg last night, and nearly unveiled a hitherto undiscovered ability to walk on air. The roadrunner had nothing on me.

This is obviously a mouse with a discerning palate. Swiss chocolate. I managed to bring home 3 small Easter eggs in my luggage intact, and then dropped 2 when I unpacked and broke them. The mouse has decided it will only eat the whole one. I have seen the tooth marks, and am less than impressed.

And, after a trip to the DIY shop with Jean, my house is now littered with mouse traps. I have also experienced the joys of having the trap sprung on my thumb. The mouse has no chance. And I have taken to wearing the snow boots indoors to protect the toes.

I do not like rodents. No matter how small and cute they may seem. And I will not cohabit with any form of rodent. They need to leave. So the doors are firmly closed, and the traps are baited with the rest of the Swiss chocolate, and hopefully they will work. Or I will need to acquire a cat. Heaven only knows how it got indoors, and where, because there are no holes in the walls, and the doors and windows are closed. I have been prowling around the outside looking for possible entry points. Nothing.

So I am poised and waiting for the traps to work. Then I will have to call someone to get rid of it, because I am absolutely NOT disposing of a dead mouse. {{Shudder}}. And heaven help me if it has a family with it.

I am SO not able to relax and rest, as you can see. I am approaching basket case level here. Mice...rodents......UGH.

Tuesday in point form....

• Missy, the star, is WALKING! Properly, across the room. The child is clearly a genius.
• I have succumbed to the dreaded lurgy, and feel like death. Well, that is a little over the top. I have a cold and my head feels as though it weighs a ton. As I have managed to avoid all colds and illness all winter, I suppose it was inevitable. Maybe also because I had managed to keep going through the Swiss thing, and Missy's birthday and now the system has decided to take a rest. Overload. Whatever. I have the tissues, and closely resemble Rudolf, and the couch and I are bonding yet again. We will not mention the coughing and spluttering.
• The snow needs to stop and leave. Now. Snow every night is not an option. And the cold must go too. I want it to be spring, and warm. Last night I was wearing half my wardrobe, topped by scarf, gloves, and the fleece poncho thing. I waddled. Sitting under the blanket with 2 recession heaters on my lap. And yes, the heating was on.
• Tulips on the kitchen table are food for the soul.
• I washed a red towel and a white towel in the washing machine at the same time. I now have a pink towel. Perfect for Easter, you say? Hmmm. It would be, except for the fact that it has "Merry Christmas" embroidered in red on it. Maybe I can sew a red line through the "Christmas" and embroider "Easter" instead. Oh good grief, I think I may be delirious.
• I feel like baking Ree's Apple Dumplings. I have all the ingredients. I know this because I just got up and checked. However, there is the danger that I may eat the entire batch, which totals at about 49zillion calories, and the hips absolutely could not accomodate that.
• I don't have any icecream to go with it. Therefore I would need to make some. And see the point above, would have to eat the lot.....hips etc etc.
• My daughter has booked her tickets home for April for her sabbatical. Sigh. Now that makes me smile. She is coming via LA and going back via Vancouver! But we won't think about the going back bit yet.
• Missy's hat collection is growing to ridiculous proportions. My sister found a pattern on the internet and I have adapted it to suit what I had around and the hat I had in mind, and it is so cute. Maybe I will post the pattern when I have the energy. Another item on the "to do" list!
• I need to step away from this computer, because I am coming perilously close to hitting the buy now button on my Amazon basket. The one filled with dreams, which I have no intention of buying. It must be the head cold. It is making me want to do strange things.
• My car is going for its MOT test either today or tomorrow. A few prayers that it will pass without major problems would be good. In the UK, all cars over 3 years old need to pass the test every year or they are taken off the road.
• My coffee is cold and needs replenishing. Excuse me while I go and shiver on the couch and mope.

A busy week...

It has been a busy week around here. Missy turned one, and I was there to see the fun, and get to know my little granddaughter a little better. She has the hugest grin, and when she laughs, I melt. Those of you who are grannies too will know just what I mean.

And the birthday party with her little friends.... oh my word, it took my back to the days when mine were tiny. I took 300 photos in 3 days. I reckon I showed great restraint. It was lovely to spend time with them all, and I wanted to see David too, but he was working on tests and presentations, so that will have to wait. I hated leaving.

And the snow came back here at home with a vengeance, and more fell last night. There will be yet more later today, I gather. It is still definitely winter outside, but indoors, I have declared spring. I packed away all the red cushions and throws and candles and vases. Out came the pinks and pale blues, and greens instead. And the Easter deocrations will be added when we are closer to Eatser. Change is good. It looks bright and light and with tulips on the kitchen table and daffodils in the lounge, I can pretend it is spring. If I don't look out the window, of course.

I was very unsettled for a day or 2 when I got home, just as I was when I left Switzerland. I need to be at home, and then I get here and think....Why? Why do I need to be here alone, when my family is all over the place? Surely there are other viable options? It is a combination of factors at the moment, though, and I know things will evolve as time passes. There is just me to consider. I am not part of a couple. And that changes things a great deal, especially when I am not as agile, or strong as I used to be. Getting from "a" to "b" has its challenges. And if "a" is home and "b" is one of my family, it is incredibly frustrating.

Couple that with fierce independence, and the desire to have a life of my own and not just to be an optional extra in my children's lives, and the balancing act gets tougher.

I am musing aloud here, my friends. One part of me wants to set of on a global trot to have adventures. Another part wants to be with my family. With my kids. My mother. My sister. Another part of me wants to build a new life. Sigh. Maybe I will just stop now and retreat to the couch with the crochet hook. Missy needs a purple hat. And a green one. The Olympic highlights will be on soon, and as I missed the bobsleigh by falling asleep at 1am, I need to catch up.

Have a great Sunday!

Absolutely random bits and pieces.....

Well, hello there. I seem to have been sleeping for days. I sit down to watch the Olympics (which do happen to be in the middle of the night here, let me add) and fall asleep instantly. This is not what I had in mind, but I have to say the body is worn out. Apparently.

And the cold....it has been SO cold, that once I curl up under the fleecy blanket with a recession heater or 2, I am out like a light. However, it seems to be a little milder today, and I am awake. For now. I have been wrapping the presents for Missy, who is ONE tomorrow, can you believe. I have also spent the morning making bunting out of Sarah Smith dishcloths. And that worked out brilliantly, with the addition of copious amounts of red ribbon. Remind me NEVER to buy another inch of ribbon ever again for the rest of my life. I have enough to wind round the globe. At least 3 times. And we will not discuss bias binding either.

While I have been semi-comatose on the couch, I have been thinking about all the things I mean to do when I get round to them, and realised that I never seem to do the things I dream of doing. And they are all do-able now, without major expenditure, or needing to actually leave the house. Heaven knows I have more than enough supplies of everything known to man. So today, I started on the Gratitude Journal. I have been gathering words and pictures, and bits and pieces to decorate my pages before I write, and I have now torn or cut them out, and will be sticking them in this evening, in a valiant attempt to stay awake. I am also trying out a schedule of sorts, to make sure I remember to do things daily. Like actually write in the Gartitude Journal. That would help. Focus, you know.

And talking of focus, I am off to Bath on 1st March for the rescheduled appointments. I always forget a great deal I mean to talk about at the appointments, so I am writing down a story for them. It may be as long as a book, because life has not been simple and orderly in recent months, now has it. And I am also trying things MY way, to see if maybe they work, given that all the rest has not.

Today is Shrove Tuesday and that means pancakes, so I will be making some for supper tonight. It is not quite the same when there is no queue of children wanting me to make more, though! And, as this is a totally random collection of trivia, David is loving Forensic Anthropology, Diana has acquired a bike, and her knee op is booked for 16 March. Glynis and Peter are in Bruges with friends, and Eurostar is not running after the mega accident in Belgium, so they are not sure if or when they will be getting back. Remember when Matt was there before Christmas, and the trains all ground to a halt? He is their son. I personally think that their family and Eurostar are incompatible.

And that, my friends, is that for today. My camera appears to be working at the moment, which is good. There will be photos after the party, I am sure.

AND....

Happy Anniversary, Marge and Peter! I can't believe you have been married so long! 20 years is a special event - congratulations and loads of love!
Happy Birthday, Naxos! (My doggie nephew)
Happy Birthday, Aninha!

Diana.......

29 years ago today, I was lying, at this very moment, on the top step of our swimming pool. Very pregnant. It was 30+C and I could not get cool. I probably looked like a beached whale. In fact, I am sure I did. I was not in a reasonable mood. My husband used to remind me of this. Frequently. I had been to a check up at my gynae/obstetrician earlier, and I told him the baby could come any time. The sooner the better. Just not the next day. That would be Friday 13th back then.

So of course I went into labour at midnight on the dot. SOMEBODY thought that was amusing.

And 11 hours later, my daughter made her appearance. Friday 13th is a very special day in this family, as a consequence. And I have never been the same.

It is Friday 12th February here at the moment, but down there at the bottom of the world, a very special girl has already woken and started her day. And thanks to the marvels of modern technology (I love Skype), I have seen her and spoken to her. The fact that she was half asleep is irrelevant. She is the most amazing young woman, you know. I have said this so many times, I know. But she really is. I am so lucky to be her Mum.

I am thinking back over the years and all the memories pop up randomly like a slide show in my mind...... the little red-haired monkey who looked just like Annie, the pig-tails, the shrieks of laughter, the water baby, Care Bears, nearly drowning but saved by her big brother, the best friends, the doll called Polly, the chicken pox on the ship, the pink party, ballet, camping, walking on the mountain, school sports days, days on the beach, toasting marshmallows, cycling about with her friends, shellsuits, singing and choirs, pantomimes, exams and hayfever, snow and Alps, rollerblades, university, London, global trotting................ and always the grin. The way she draws people to her, and the way she leads children in her work for the church. The way we smile when we are around her. She really does light up the room.



Adventurer. Explorer. Unique. Special. Lovely. Fun.

My daughter.

Happy Birthday, my girly! I love you loads and loads.

Home again.....

Some things don't change, do they...here I am at home again, sitting in my coat while I write on a keyboard which is no longer familiar to me. The "y" and the "z" are back in the right places, but my fingers or brain don't remember that any more. And all the puncuation marks are in different places too, so it feels strange and very unfamiliar.

And the white stuff is falling here too, only here it is not settling, and the sun comes and goes, and all that is familiar is the cold. Only the cold here is accompanied by wind which freezes the bones.

The trip home was relatively uncomplicated. It still meant getting up at 4.30am to start the bus / train(s) / plane trip back, and believe me, I am a wreck by the end of it all. I walked miles. Miles, I tell you. Jean, bless her, was there waiting for me, and she brought me home, and we had time to catch up on all the news.

And today I am having a quiet day. I was up all night with cramp in my leg, and this morning popped in to see the nurse to make sure there was nothing like blood clots there to complicate life. For the first time, they saw me having a really bad day. I was too tired to even attempt bright and cheerful and optimistic. Absolutely the opposite, in fact. She and the doctor sent me home to rest, after watching my leg pulse for a while. It looked hilarious. Or would have if I had been in the mood. A residue of the cramp, apparently. It looked as though it had things living under the skin. Aliens.

And I did not mention my clumsiness, did I.... I knocked over my coffee late on Monday night. All over my camera, which went crazy. Opened and shut and wouldn't operate or switch off. Marge and I dried it out as best we could, and then left it on the shelf over the radiator for the night. It closed so I could pack it, but I have yet to see if it is usable. My beloved camera. Groan.

Leaving is always hard for me. But stuff has to be done, and some things can't be done from there. Like hospital appointments, meetings etc.

Oh.... the car. I got in and started it to see if it would go, and it did. And so I went for a short drive. I got to the end of the road, braked, and it sounded if the whole thing was about to blow up. Clanking and grinding and decidely unhealthy sounds. I got out to check the wheels had not fallen off or developed punctures. Nothing. So I drove very slowly home again, without touching the brakes. And called The Man Who Fixes My Car. He laughed and said he had had dozens of calls re the same thing in recent weeks. Rust build up on the discs when cars are not driven in this dreadful weather. The cure is to drive it. Right. So I am the one with the noisy car, although it is sounding slightly less alarming already. I could do without all this, let me tell you.

No more mountains outside the window. But the spring bulbs are coming up all over the garden. I planted hundreds. There is a lot out there which needs to be chopped back too. Dead bits from last year. No more germlish, although I couldn't remember some english words after only using German ones. It took a while. No more lots of things.......

So today I am very very tired, and a little sad too. And I can sit on the couch and wallow, because that is allowed. Tomorrow is time enough for other stuff.

But I will be back there again very soon.

So beautiful......

Something quite remarkable happened an hour ago. I was sitting at the computer, and the sun appeared through the window! Why remarkable? Well, because the village is in a valley surrounded by exceedingly high Alps, in winter, the sun only reaches the valley much later. And on the other side of the house. But spring is on the way, and the days are getting longer now, and the sun is managing to climb just that little bit higher, so it can peep over the top of the alp and shine. On me.
And the snow of course. And make the world absolutely stunning. Beautiful. Amazing.

So I grabbed the camera and leki stick and trotted out the door. Trotted being a euphemistic word, you understand. But at as much speed as I could muster.

For those of you not bored to death by snow photos, you can go here and see some more. I thought RCR was getting slightly swamped by snow photos!

The sun is still shining, and I need to drink on more of the beauty. I don't think it is possible to overdose. I will be back later.

Regressing......

I have been considering the idea of making a snow angel. Considering, please note.

However.......

1. There is a fairly good chance that I would not be able to get up afterwards, and would be found frozen after the thaw. It is still snowing as I speak, you see. Not good.
2. Then again, there is also the possibility that I would sink through the 3 feet of snow and be buried. Humiliating.
3. Snow is cold. I am not partial to cold.
4. And wet. I do not need wet.
5. My family would assume I had lost my mind. True.
6. This is a ridiculous idea.

I think the snow has addled the brain, personally. Maybe I will go for a walk instead.

A droplet of ice.....

The snow fell again all night, and this morning, I sat down to check my emails and looked out of the window, and saw this.
Just look at the intricacy of those flakes of snow, frozen for a brief moment in time. How does that ice droplet stay in place? What is holding it up? Can it possibly be that microdot of ice above it? Why doesn't the weight of the ice below make it fall?

Look...... How can it be?

And then I shift the focus my eyes back from the tiny droplet to the whole panorama in front of me, and think of all those miniscule flakes of snow, so many of them, all totally unique, combining to make up this white world at this very moment. On every tree, branch, twig, blade of grass, railing, fence, ...trillions and zillions. All unique. How often do I just see the whiteness, and not consider how it is made up? The Designer is in the business of miracles. Even tiny ones only His eye can see.

15 minutes later...... it is still there. That droplet.

Wow.

The days in the Alps drift by.....

So many words written and then never posted. I am sure most of you know the feeling well!

I can't believe it is Friday already. The rhythm of my days here up in the mountains is very different to that of times at home. If I were on a holiday, I would expect that, but living an ordinary life in a different place makes for an altered tempo of my days.

I know this place. I know quite a few people too, now I come to think about it. I know the shops, and can communicate adequately, thank heavens. The wool shop lady and I are becoming well acquainted. I know how the washing machine works. The vacuum cleaner. The kitchen. I know what tv programmes are on and when. I know when the busses come and go, and I am beginning to understand signs of changing weather.

The food we eat is different. Red meat is seldom, if ever bought. By me, that is. And I don't miss it at all. Swiss yoghurt is wonderful. The chocolate is the best in the world. Well, of course it is. And the cheese is wonderful, and so many varieties too. There is a cheese factory at the Kloster (monastery) with a shop and restaurant attached, and you can watch cheese being made there.
Here, you go and buy fresh bread or gipfeli (croissants) every morning. The coffee is rich and strong.

And because we live in the centre of the village, absolutely everything is on the level and close by. Engelberg is in a valley way up in the Alps, south of Luzern in Central Switzerland. If I want to go into the mountains, I can walk in any direction and get a cable car up into the mountains. Or get someone to drive me. Or take the car up a way and then go for a walk through the forests, where the paths are not steep.

The station is 3 minutes walk from here, and so is the Kiosk, where I find some beautiful and inspiring deco or bastel magazines. Home decorating ideas, or creative craft ideas. Marge and I have just found 3 new ones to salivate over. What I LOVE about magazines here is that there are almost NO adverts. What a difference that makes.

If you want big shopping centres, you go "down the mountain". (I sound like Heidi. Just picture me skipping through Alpine meadows. ) If someone in the village dies, every home gets a pamphlet delivered with the post about their life. The electricity for washing machines is switched off every day between 11 and 12 noon, because most people cook for lunch. However, apparently that is about to change, and one will be able to was all day, if one wants to!

People all have basements here, and that is where the boiler, the laundry, and storage for the multitude of winter coats and boots is found. It also insulates the house well. Living areas are above the basement, and I can just see my American friends scratching their heads and wondering why I feel the need to write about what is normal to them. Well, in the UK, homes no longer have basements. It pushes up the already ludicrous building costs. So my ground floor is always chilly. And that is where the living areas are. Up in the bedrooms in my home, it is always warm, but then, we only use them at night. Maybe i should turn my house upside down..... It does not take rocket science to work out that basements are essential in colder climes, now, does it. The UK certainly qualifies as being cold this winter.

(I just looked out the window and the snow is beginning to fall again.)

On the subject of warmth, my mother says that according to her newspaper, the UK government is now encouraging the installation of things like woodburning stoves, and individual wind turbines. Good. Maybe they will subsidise mine! How exciting.

Ah, the rhythm of my days..... I sort of got bogged down with random details here. Maybe I will get to my days in the next publishable post. You never know.....

I am a wimp.....

You know how incredibly nervous I am of touching the blog template? Well today, I decided to play. but I just could not bring myself to touch the wretched thing. So I decided to start another blog just to play with templates. So I did. Then I found another template I liked, and you guessed it, started another blog. That makes 2 new ones today.

WHAT WAS I THINKING OF????

It is hard enough keeping one up to date and under control. I must have lost my mind. Nice templates though. And we are still stuck with the same old one here. MORNING GLORY!!!!!! Yoohoo!!!! I have run out of courage and daring......

Random reflections......

I made 2 cushion covers. They are not finished because I have no old jumpers here to do the backs so they can wait. Or I may just crochet backs. I will see. I did a bobble edging in a fit of enthusiasm, and then realised that sewing the backs on will require a little ingenuity as a result, but I will sort that out. I hope.

I just popped them on top of a cushion to get the idea. bright. I must be going through a bright phase.

And here is the path I have just walked along. I took the photo because a) I love this walk, and b) to show you how beautifully all the paths are maintained. They are kept ploughed, raked, or whatever they do to them every day, and I have yet to find one not well maintained, and ready for people to walk. It really is superb. The snow on either side of the path is well over a couple of feet deep, and I have no idea how deep the compacted layer is, but if it is anything like the road out of the village, (which never sees warm tyres, so doesn't melt) it must be a good few inches thick. The river is on the left of the photo, but it is frozen and covered with snow.

I had another post all ready to go, but that can wait too. The snow is about to return with a vengeance tonight and tomorrow, and I am a little restless at the moment. Completely NOT following my own stated intentions of yesterday. I am human, you see. The shoulders keep rising to the hunched position. In other words, I am not relaxed. At all. I look as though I am 110.

Right. Pull yourself together, girl, and go and do something . Wash your hair. Make coffee. (And tea.) Find that hook and a ball of wool. Did I mention that I discovered a beautiful wool shop right here in the village? The range of colours is spectacular, and apart from needing a fortune to pay for all the wool I would love to buy, I love popping in to look, and touch and dream. Why is it that I am drawn to the most expensive things?? The wool I love is the most expensive in the shop, which is just typical. I have also got a quilt to finish too, under this desk. And I am still reading the one book I brought with me this time, though a page or 2 is all I can concentrate on at a time. I cannot tell you how frustrating that is.

The relaxation techniques I was taught have completely deserted me. I cannot for the life of me remember how to relax. Suggestions, people. I need suggestions or I may just turn into the Hunchback of Angel Mountain. Mind you, that could be the start of a book, couldn't it.......

The real world.....

Well, January is now a part of our combined histories, people. Over. Done. Gone. It did not go as planned, did it. Well, not here at RCR, anyway.

A new month now. February. February reminds me of an unbearably hot summer 29 years ago, when I was 9 months pregnant. The southern hemisphere, of course. No chance of unbearably hot anything up in the north! Diana was born in the middle of February, and then in February last year, this little family welcomed Missy into our ranks. What an impact one small girl has had, much like her Auntie did 29 years ago. February has brought such blessings to my life. I like February.

As each of my children arrived, their presence changed me forever, and expanded my life in unimaginable ways. They continue to add dimensions I had never considered as each year passes, and they introduce so many new ideas, places, thoughts and possibilities to my life. Heaven only knows what comes next! My granddaughter has done just the same. She changed me into a Granny, and a whole new world unveiled itself when that happened.

The rhythm of my days up here in the Alps is very different to my normal life. It hinges on the fact that I don't know what tomorrow holds. When I will go back. How I will go back. How long I need to stay. It is as though life is suspended. Temporary. Unplanned. (By me, that is.) I am "winging it". I am an expert at winging it. Caught up in the winds of life, not certain where they will deposit me, or if there is about to be a tornado to sweep me up and alter the course of my life yet again. These are things I am familiar with, let me tell you. Uncertainties. Changes. Detours.

I am in a philosophical mood at the moment. All the above is a long-winded way of saying that my truth for today is this.......

This is not temporary.
This is not being in limbo.
This is not random.
This is not haphazard.
This is my life.

I have just been shifted from the driver's seat. Again.

I can spend my days wondering, worrying, planning ahead for all unknown eventualities.

Or

I can embrace every day as it comes, and enjoy every moment.

It may be for another few days. It may be for another week or 2. It may be.... I have no idea. For now, this is my life. I am needed. But I cannot and will not spend each day pondering what ifs etc. Tempting though that is at times. When I feel the brain delving into dark and worst case scenario places, I have to get up and move and do something constructive. If you could see the mountain of hooky stuff, you will understand that there has been a lot of "Doing Something Constructive" going on around here. And I am tired of waging a war with my thoughts. Lawyers, hospitals, paperwork, meetings....they can all wait. In the greater scheme of things they are unimportant.

February is going to be a month of celebration for me. Celebration.
Two wonderful girls. Girls I am far away from , but we are not going there right now....
Unexpected time with my sister.
Walking in the mountains.
An abundance of snow.
Germlish.
Mum's recovery.
A (much warmer) cosy place called home.

For now. For as long as it is necessary. The real world is not waiting for me. THIS is the real world.

This white world, full of beauty, is my reality today.