So I will start writing slowly.................

I look at this blank page...... in fact, I have been looking at it for the past 2 days and I can't marshall the words and it is driving me crackers. Words are what I have. Words are the only things I have left from the Old Me, in a sense. Here I am normal, just one of all of you. A part of a whole.

Mind you, I am also whole in the water at aqua, like I was this morning at dawn o' clock. Hurting, but dancing in the water. Just like the other girls. Ladies. Older ladies. I am a part of that whole too :-)

Do you want to know that there are over 200 rosebuds in my wind and rain-swept garden today? I counted. Do you want to know what joy I get from knowing they will burst into colour soon? If the rain stops and the sun shines for a day or two.

Do you want to know that the rain is also hammering my young plants to pieces? That does not fill me with joy. But I want, then, to get out there and try to prop them up, help them to grow. Stop them from breaking.

 So, last Friday, I got on a train to London, with my small wheelie bag, a shopping bag and my stick. I had great ideas of spending an hour or so at St Pancras station, wandering around the shops. Believe me, this is no ordinary station. I just forgot that there would be 40 zillion people there at the start of the Jubilee weekend, and also the start of the half term holidays, and ALSO that Eurostar would be running packed trains. So after trying to find a restaurant with an empty table and more importantly, a chair, and nearly demolishing the display stands in Paperchase, I beat a hasty retreat, and found the fast train to Ebbsfleet, where my daughter-in-law was going to  fetch me. This is a new venture for me - trains, and things like that. Fast trains. Escalators with all the baggage and a stick. Ticket barriers and hair flopping in the eyes. Severe lack of coffee therefore withdrawal symptoms.

I did consider getting off at Stratford - the Olympic stop. There is apparently an amazing shopping centre right there. New. But then, I was well into my bag lady impression and getting rather weary, to say the least. Spurred on by the thought of time with Missy and her parents. Hah. I had curtains to hang in the little playhouse.

Did I mention the weather? I am quite sure you have all been permanently attached to your TV sets over the past few days, you see - the Queen's Diamond Jubilee was spectacular, and there is no-one on earth who can do pomp and pageantry like the British. You would also have seen the spectacularly wet weather. It was such a relief that at least the concert in front of Buckingham Palace was a dry event. And regardless of the weather, millions turned out to celebrate and have a party. Street parties all over the land, special events, bunting and banners, flags and stirring music. Just do not mention Cliff Richard and his pelvis to me. {Shudder}. Or Paul McCartney. Or Grace Jones. I am not a great fan of Tom Jones, but on my word, he was outstanding. So was Robbie Williams, Shirley Bassey, the Military Wives and the rest of the choir, and the image of Buckingham Palace turning into a row of terraced houses with a London bus driving past as Madness sang "Our House" on the roof of the palace will stay with me for a long time. And Alfie Bow.....well, he is the one person right now that I would pay a great deal to see perform. He and Les Miserables are forever connected.

 I would have loved to have been there in the crowds. Loved to have been there. But crowds, nowhere to sit, loud pounding music and a wonky leg don't make a happy combination. So I had to just be there in spirit. I was, at least in London. Sort of. And just think what the hair would have looked like in the rain.

Instead, I had a young lady to play with. Watch. Love.

 That iPad? We discovered that she had worked out/learnt the code to unlock it. She is 3. She is also infinitely better at Angry Birds than her Moreglanny. Humiliation. A techno-wiz at 3.

 On Sunday, in the pouring rain, Andrew did a wonderful BBQ, and Ginny and Barry, the other Granny and Grandad came to join us, bearing a magnificent flag pudding, real flags to wave and other assorted celebratory items including the sparkly stuff and Belgian chocolates. Yes. I did have to be a little more energetic at aquazumba this morning. How nice of you to ask.

 Moreglanny, meanwhile, had created a beach scene out of Duplo. Missy wanted a beach scene. Please note the blue sea, the sand (Missy did the red part. Hmmm. ) the surfer, the kids paddling, the child building a sandcastle under the sun umbrella and to the right at the top, is the lifeguard tower. I cut off the lifeguard's head. I tell you, I was very impressed with myself. Missy, on the other hand, wanted to drive her Lego car into the sea and squash the dolphin.

And while I was building, she was playing games on my iPhone. The iPhone which plays games but which does not do telephone calls or text messages, stupid phone. It is now on its way to the insurance company. I feel naked without it.  She was a little unimpressed that my version of Angry Birds was the free one without 363839230 options. What did I say about techy kids???

 The iPad and the granddaughter. Whenever the sun shone, or rather, the rain stopped, we were out of the door and she was racing about on her scooter, or little car, or skipping and dancing around, in and out of the little house, with Moreglanny screwing in cup hooks for the little curtains. All that energy - rainy days wind them up. Ah yes, I remember those days well.

So the Jubilee was celebrated. The Thames water pageant was lovely, and I cannot for the life of me work out how the Queen managed to stand for 4 hours. In the freezing rain. She is 86. Amazing. Such a pity the Duke of Edinburgh is in hospital. but Prince Charles and Camilla and Prince William, Prince Harry and Kate did a wonderful job of supporting her. She just looked so small and alone walking into St Paul's.

60 years in a job she never asked for. Unwavering service, keeping her oath. No-one alive today will ever see this again, in all likelihood. A Diamond Jubilee. And did you see those magnificent drum horses???? I look for them every time.

So much more to talk about. But that will have to do for now. My friend Glynis has been in the operating theatre all day - having a planned operation down in London at a centre of excellence, so there has been much pacing here. She is doing well, and although this is her 60th birthday today, if she is healed now, it will be the best birthday present ever.

I will tell you more about my wee scrap of a granddaughter. About the clapping of hands every morning and the "Moreglanny, WAKE UP" and the cuddles, and the fun, and the long chats with my daughter-in-law, and so much more. Tomorrow. I need to sleep...................