A simple day....

As I look through the windows to my garden, I can see soft sunshine, my roses swaying gently in the breeze and even a butterfly fluttering about. The skies are blue with wisps of white clouds slowly drifting past, and the day promises to be warmer than it has been in recent days.

Rewind to yesterday and howling gales, rain pouring from ominously angry grey clouds, toppled over tomato plants, roses stripped bare and you will see why this morning gives ample reason to smile in comparison! The fleeting sunshine of the early morning did not last long.

According to my mother, Britain is suffering from summertime blues, and the recommendation is to make sure you go outdoors, even in the rain, to absorb some natural light. She, and the paper she reads, may well have a point. So I have every intention of doing just that today. Sitting outside in my garden, ignoring the weeds and just enjoying the simple moment.

Simplicity. I think this is the answer to so many of the trials of today. Simplicity. Stripping away all the unnecessary aspects of life and focussing on the simplest, most important parts. It is not wrong to just sit and be. To enjoy the moment. To look at our children and each other and simply accept the moment as the blessing it is. We live in a time where the days never seem to have enough hours - and I am the first to say I fall into this category too - I am a charter member of the "multiply time" concept. We were not designed to function at 100 miles an hour every waking moment.

Take today for instance. I could go out in the garden and work on the weeds, deadheading, cutting back, hauling the garden bin through the house and out again, sweeping and washing the patio. All necessary and good things in and of themselves. Or, I could go out and sit there, and drink in the sights and sounds and scents, and relax and enjoy it as it is. In this moment. In the soft sun.

Sometimes we need to sit and just be.

Today I am not saying "more", or "better" or "tidier", or "cleaner", or "bigger", or "want".

I am saying "thank you". "Enough". "I am blessed".

Brightening my day...

My children surprised me yesterday, by ordering me these lovely flowers to brighten my day. What a lovely gift! I was so thrilled to receive them, and they most definitely did brighten my day. Thanks, A, A, D and D!!! Your Mum is smiling.

And thank you, all of you, for your lovely comments. You are a special band of friends. My attitude is back to normal, I think.

I asked a friend to take me to the school I work at yesterday, so that I could sort out things re sick leave/holidays, see my line manager etc etc, and also so that I could say goodbye to all the friends I have there who are leaving. It was somewhat of an ordeal physically, even though I had a key to the lift, and did not have to walk miles. And after an hour or so, my leg started going into a spasm and so I tottered back to the car while Julia collected forms etc. The absolute best was hobbling into the staffroom, and hearing my friends cheer. They were so happy to see me, and it was a real boost to the somewhat sagging spirits.

The good thing is that I am fine (for now) re pay, and that was what I was hyperventilating about. Also, they got to see just how incapacitated I actually am at the moment. The other thing was that I had not filled out an accident form yet re the fact that I was injured at work, and that had to be done. Technically, I am not sick. Injured is more accurate. And I think that goes into different categories.

So that was a good thing to have sorted. Then I came home, and fell asleep on the couch for the entire afternoon. And the rain kept falling.

For good measure, my combination convection/microwave oven rolled over and died last night. Well, actually, it went bang. Loudly. And now it seems to have a nasty gremlin installed. As in - if you open the door, it swings into action, rotating merrily. Even though it is OFF. And if you shut the door it stops. And, joy of joys, it is built in. So the plug is behind it. Which means that the fridge/freezer will have to be moved to try to access the plug. No... I will not be attempting to move the full f/f. I promise.

Perfect. I looked around the kitchen and thought...hmmm.... every appliance I own, except for the fridge/freezer, is over 10 years old. This. is. not. good. Well, of course it is good that they have all lasted so long. What is not good is that they are starting to expire. And, so help me, they will all go together. En masse. I have experienced this before. About 10 years ago, actually. But I can always go and cook over the bbq in the garden if all else fails. And wash stuff in a bath. Or take things down to the river and beat them with stones........

Anyway. The sun is actually shining as I speak. Never mind that it poured with rain just half an hour ago. I see bits of blue sky, and I need to hobble out and see what has happened to my garden. Now. This may be summer, and I do not want to miss it!

Nothing to say today....

It is wet and grey and bleak. And so is my mood. Life looks so much more ominous when you are so tired and things ache and the sun does not shine at all. So I won't bore anyone to death with a morbid and depressing post today. Life is not peachy. Hello world, my name is Linds, and I am not invincible after all.

Oh, and there has just been an energy chief on the news saying that gas prices will be rising 70%. I thought that would brighten your day, if you happen to live in the UK.

Hopefully I will have had an attitude adjustment by tomorrow.

20 years ago.......

The world at 4am and I are becoming well acquainted. Oh, yes, I did go to bed and fall asleep at 10pm last night. However, I happened to move, so I woke up rapidly. At midnight. And that was that. Groan. I no longer have a problem with time zones. I am awake through the lot of them.
And the weather has not improved since 4am either. It is still grey and wet and distinctly revolting. I opened the windows wide, as it is supposed to be summer after all, and nearly froze to death. I need a wood burning stove, and, so help me, if I actually had one, I would have lit it at 4am. You may just have realised that I was up and dressed at 4am. I am subtle like that.

Back to musings....

20 years ago, I was visiting friends here in England. I was 34 years old. We were planning an imminent move to the UK and were going to go around the world on the way here. And almost 20 years ago to the day, I fell pregnant with my youngest child, who is now 6ft 5" and anything but the tiny thing he was when he was born. But 20 years ago, I didn't know he was going to be in the picture at all. My children were growing - 11 and 7, and I was dreaming of a life in a new country with my family. Those plans had to go on hold for 2 more years, and life changed quite dramatically. We were back to nappies and pushchairs and keeping up with toddlers all over again! He has been a total blessing to us all, and I am so glad he arrived, albeit unexpectedly. I could never have imagined having another son 20 years ago, so yes, my life is very different to the one I envisaged back then. We became a family of 5.

I can honestly say that throughout my life, I have never had 10 year plans, or such like. Dreams, yes, but the plans were short-term. 20 years ago, I was lucky enough to be a stay at home Mum, and I loved every moment of it.

10 years ago, I was dreaming of the times when my children would finish school, go to good universities and take their places in the adult world. 2 of them have done that, and the 3rd is now on his way too. 10 years ago, my parents had come for a visit, and my Dad got very ill, and they had to stay here in England with us. 10 years ago, life altered dramatically, and we had to add on to our house, I was flying back and forth to SA and I learned that making plans was not a great idea. That was when the I started focussing on every day as it came. I couldn't envisage what life would be like today.

Life is nothing like I imagined it would be. It is different. But different is not always bad or wrong. Do I mourn unrealised plans? Not really. I have regrets, of course. I am human. Decisions I might have made differently with that "all knowing" hindsight, of course! Life today would have been a lot easier if I had always been a career woman. But I had no desire to be a career woman. And note that the question was about unrealised plans, not dreams. I have unrealised dreams, of course. Many of them. But the nature of dreams is that they are never unrealised. They are just pending. They are not time specific. They can still happen.

And I am happy. I have so much to be happy about. Life is exciting - well, when one is not bound to the couch, of course - and I have absolutely NO idea what is going to happen next. I have always lived with a sense of anticipation, of the next adventure around the corner, and it is just as well I am not a frightened rabbit. Who knows what the next 10 or 20 years will bring? I am absolutely NOT going to waste time worrying about them.

20 years ago, I could not have imagined the son I now have or the wonderful adults my children all are. Or that I would have a daughter-in-law. Or that my sister would meet a wonderful man and end up marrying him and living in such a spectacular place. Or that I would love it so much. Or that my Mum would be here. Or that I would be doing what I am doing. Or that I would have been to NZ. Or that I would have so many great friends I had never met back then. Or that I would love this village I live in, which I didn't know back then. Or that I would have so much to be thankful for. Or that I could grow things. Or that .........

I couldn't have imagined what was in store for me. It is, for all the minor irritations and frustrations, a wonderful life, you know. Full. But always with room for more adventures. And just think, 20 years ago, we had no idea at all how wonderful technology would be, and how it would link all our lives like a big spider's web, all over the world. What will we be doing in 20 years time? How can anyone not be excited at the thought????

Sleepless in Middle England....

Without sleep, I am not a ray of sunshine. I have not slept, so draw your own conclusions re the mood this morning. I have been sitting here since dark o' clock reading, and wriggling about trying to get comfortable. Why, you may ask??? That man is a SADIST. The physio man. We need to strengthen the rest of your leg, he says. Oh joy. So he sticks his thumb into the base of my ligament which is either fully or partially ruptured, and I mention that it hurts a bit. I am the mistress of understatement. Don't worry, he says, increasing the pressure, it will go numb soon. He neglected to tell me that when the numbness wears off it will feel like the hounds of hell are gnawing on said knee. All night. This morning. And probably for eternity at this rate.

I said I was not a ray of sunshine.

I told him that my blood is confused. I have ice packs on the knee which the blood passes through, and then it gets to my foot, and it has a heat pack on, so it warms up, and then zooms up to the knee again, and freezes. It is a wonder I have not had a blood induced heart attack. I told him my foot is way colder than the other one. Hmmm, he says. I can feel it. The circulation is restricted by the swelling in the knee. Hello? Circulation? It should circulate. The blood. MY blood. Freely. I do not need my foot to drop off.

No sleep, remember.

Anyway, I have more hot coffee and some toast. Maybe I will feel a little more human and pleasant in a sec.

My favourite place.
On the surface, this is an easy one to answer. The little village in the Alps in Switzerland. It is a combination though, of the place, the scenery, and the fact that my sister lives there. Not to mention that I fell in love with Switzerland when I was 12 and that has never changed.

I love the mountains. But I also love the sea. I love walking in the forests on the mountains in Switzerland. I love the feeling of safety I have there. The beauty is self-evident, and the peace and silence is food for my soul. I love being there. I love walking with my son. I love walking alone. (Walking. Groan. That won't happen with this *^*&%^%$! knee this year.) I just love being there.

But maybe I love it in a special way now, because my family is there. Because I have been so many times to stay with my sister that I know it so well. But because she told me what to look for and where to go. And then I discovered the rest for myself. It is a place I always long to return to. My favourite place on earth.

Or is it?
I love New Zealand too. It is an amazingly beautiful place and I have just scratched the surface of it really. There is so much more to see. And so much sea to sit and watch too. One of my best things. But the most important thing is that it is where my daughter lives. My ONLY daughter. So does the fact that it is home to someone special in my family colour my view of it? Probably. It is more special because when I go there, I am spending time with someone I love. And being so happy to arrive somewhere because you are spending time with people you love makes the actual place very special too, by association.

This village has been home to me and my family for 18 years now. This week, in fact. I think. Diana??? You are the one who remembers these things! Is it special in and of itself? Maybe not. There are no mountains. And we could not live further from the sea if we tried. It is an ordinary English village. But the fact that it is home makes it special. Not for the place, but for the people associated with it. My family. My friends. And while my home is here, it is a favourite place too. But if I were to move my home, then that would change.

I have been to many places. I have seen many things. I love Scotland. I love Cornwall. I love France. I love Cape Town. I loved Austria when I was a child. There are many more places I would love to visit too. One day.

I like to think, though, that wherever I make my home, it will be my family's favourite place. It is the people who matter. Maybe, without my family in Switzerland, and the love and warmth I always find there, it would just be another place I love, and not my favourite place. Ditto for New Zealand.

Wherever they are, my sons and daughter, sister and mother - those are my favourite places on earth. The eyes can absorb the beauty of so many stunning places, but only the heart can absorb the love, and that, to me, is what makes my favourite places so special.

Awards and all the rest.....

If you have not discovered Vee at A Haven for Vee yet, you are missing something great. She kept a HUGE secret from us all, and then just happened to poddle off and get married! Wonderful news!

And then, because she is sweet, she passed on an award to some random people, including me. Here it is. I am the world's worst acknowledger and passer-onner (and I have just invented those words, which I do believe you should all use immediately and frequently, of course) of awards. I get these amazing awards, and then I a) forget to acknowledge them, and b) forget to pass them on. I am unworthy. Grovel. And I hereby apologise to all and sundry who were gracious enough to think of me. I am reformed. I think. I hope. I will do better.

So I am passing this on immediately to 3 of the many people who make me smile, or laugh out loud, and who are, by definition, Just Plain Fun to Read.

1. Crystal at Be the change you want to see
2. Chris at His Unfinished Work
3. Jo at Moodscape

Here you go ladies! You are all a delight. (And so are all the rest of you too, people.)

There is a great deal to think about out there in the blogging world right now. Are we heading into a Depression? Recession-proofing. Simplifying. De-cluttering. Taking our writing to a new level. Retirement. Moves. Precarious work situations. Illness. Soaring fuel costs. Greener options. Self-sufficiency. Concerns.

But.....

Babies are being born, children are heading to college. Gardens are blooming. Young ones, and the not so young any more too, are getting married. Adventures are being planned and shared. Fascinating questions are being asked for us to ponder too. More about those later.

It is all about balance in a way. The hard part is striving to arrive at a reasonable balance. Good/bad. Pessimistic/optimisitc. Practical/impractical. All we can do is try to make the choices which can make a positive difference to our own lives, homes, and communities.

Here in the UK, we may be a little further down the road than those of you who live in the States with regard to going "green" and trying to conserve resources. Never mind actually affording power or fuel in the first place. Our energy costs have been stratospheric in comparison for years, so the era of big cars never really arrived here. Smaller houses, a relatively extensive public transport system and incentives for insulating homes have all helped to make us aware of other options. The global warming issue has been real and pressing and part of our government policy for years. Now, we have no choice other than to use those alternative options, and be thankful they are there in the first place. Our local supermarket has now instituted a pay for bags policy, and it didn't take long for us to remember to take cloth bags when we go shopping. Every small thing makes us more aware. In Switzerland, they have had this for years.

Recent government meetings with the energy chiefs have made it clear that our gas and electricity costs, which have already gone up around 40% in the past year, are about to rise at least another 40% in the next couple of months, which will mean something like 16 million households being plunged into fuel poverty. That is the statistic of people who are paying out more than 10% of their income on fuel. Crazy stuff. Bring in Granny, who is crochetting blankets like crazy. She is going to be much in demand come winter time. (Memo to self: ask Mum to teach me how to crochet too).

One of the great discoveries I have made locally, is our Freecycle website. Just google Freecycle, and the odds are there is one near you too. It is a wonderful way to find the things you need, and to get rid of those you don't need too.

I rather suspect that, over the next few months, we will all be posting about ways to save or cut out things. Cut down costs, live simpler lives. Thank God for the Internet, and the opportunity to share ideas. We will all be learning from each other, and that is going to strengthen this community and in turn, help the real communities we live in.

And about those questions ......

Britt-Arnhild asked us what or where our favourite places were. This is something I need to think about. Fascinating question, and sifting through possible answers is great.

And Ree asked how different our lives were to the way we imagined them 10 or 20 years ago. Are we where we imagined we would be? Do we mourn unrealised plans? Are we happy, no matter what the circumstances? And she had 1526 responses. I got up to a couple of hundred while reading the comments. Absolutely fascinating. I need to think about this too, and perhaps do a post on it. Maybe you would like to look back and ask yourselves the same questions as well.

Anyway. That is me for now. I have loads of ideas today. But now I am off to physio.

I will be back.

Fashion observations from the rocking chair.....

The sun is shining and the sky is blue. Anyone would think it is summer! I fully intend doing absolutely nothing but resting all day, whether it is outside in the garden, or on the couch. Normal life (as it is at the moment) will resume tomorrow, but today is my day of rest.

The one thing I noticed at the wedding, was the height of the heels. Now I am not known for my fashion commentaries, but I noticed the shoes. One particular pair of shocking pink ones with 4 inch heels was hard to miss. Or forget. Anyway. The shoes. They were HIGH. Very high. And as I sat there with the older-ladies-who-were-not-up-to-gyrating-all-over-the-dance-floor, we discussed those shoes. As one does when one is clearly in the older generation.

Most of the girls ended up being a good deal taller than their partners, and they didn't seem to mind at all. How interesting this is. There is a new sort of confidence in the young girls, which was never around when I was a young thing. It is great. It did make for some interesting viewing when they attempted to twirl under the arms and spin around. And we pontificated about their ability to twirl and spin in those shoes without having an ambulance standing by to transport them to the A&E. We see beyond the romance of the moment when we are in the older generation, it seems. Good grief..... I have turned into my grandmother......

Based on my extensive observations of footwear for weddings, I can positively announce that flat shoes are OUT. Heels that could be used as deadly weapons are IN. The higher the better. Bright is in. Dull is out. I am quite sure I have some high shoes buried in that cupboard upstairs. I wonder if they make training wheels for shoes. I could start a new trend. The other wise pontification I can offer is that legs do indeed look much better in heels than in flat shoes. It has taken 54 years for me to be convinced of this fact. See? It pays to sit at a table and observe life. You get pearls of wisdom.

And fashion...... well, bear in mind that I am not Melanie here. There was a real mix on show. The most stunning of dresses was a simple cream dress with sparkly stuff all over it, just below knee length, strapless with a slightly swirly skirt. Black and white was in too. With belts. Belts on impossibly small waists. Groan. Strapless was definitely a winner too. Though I did see many hoiking up their tops after enthusiastic gyrating. I did hold my breath once or twice too, I will admit. The younger set wore dresses. Some very short, and most just above or below the knee. Bright colours too, and lots of patterns. Happy clothes.

The "more mature" ladies wore dresses with jackets, or bolero thingys, suits in soft fabrics, or longer dresses. You know, it just occurs to me that I am a textile artist cum teacher, and here I am rabbitting on about thingies and whatsits and I should know instantly what the fabric is. Hmmmm.

However, I am also happy to announce that I will NOT be donning strapless anythings, nor will I be wearing shocking pink. And belts are not a part of my immediate future either. Or anything which remotely accentuates the area where one's waist used to be. But oh, I wish I had had that cream sparkly dress with the shimmery stuff on it when I was young........

Anyway, so ends my fashion review. I will just add that men always look wonderful in suits. Dress suits are even better. In my not so humble opinion. I remember when we used to have to dress in evening dress to go to the ballet or an opera......... oh bring back the good old days.....(!!!!)
Dressing up has something magical about it. Special. Sigh.

Oh well. That jumble of clothes I whizzed through before the wedding? It is in a heap on the floor. I tossed it aside and tumbled in to bed to sleep when I got home. That can also wait for tomorrow.

I am off to dream of times when I have dressed up for special events....... and cream strapless sparkly dresses with swirly skirts...... and high heels.......

It worked.....

So the day arrived, and it all worked beautifully. The heavens opened at 2pm and it poured, but by 2.30, the rain had stopped and the sun started appearing, and the bride looked absolutely beautiful, and a lovely, happy wedding took place in our village at 3pm. She was the first of our friends' children to have a village wedding so far. The other weddings have been in places away from home.

Everything went smoothly. To avoid everyone having to drive to the reception, a coach had been arranged, and I dashed over to the hall to make sure it was ready after the wedding, and had just enough time to light all the candles before the guests poured in the doors. A little earlier than anticipated, but it was fine.

And most important of all, the bride and groom had a wonderful day to remember, and we were all a part of a very special, happy celebration of their marriage.

What did I wear? Well, at 2pm, my bedroom resembled a jumble sale. I think every possible thing I could have worn was in a heap on the bed. Then I unearthed a 3 piece trouser suit thingy in olive green from the bowels of the cupboard. Silky stuff. I am very accurate and technical here, as you can see. I found a silk scarf in various shades of green, and swished that around the neck, slapped on some makeup, sorted the hair, and was out of here. I did actually stop some random strangers going into a shop to ask if the scarf was a fashion disaster or not. They assured me it was perfect, so I hobbled off to the church. In my old, battered flat black shoes, because fashion items on the feet would have been a little stupid. And anyway, no-one was going to notice.

And I can report that carrying a bag, using a crutch and trying to take photos at the same time is an unfortunate combination. My normally excellent co-ordination went for a loop. The wildly swinging crutch was a minor irritation to those close by. But we all survived.

And a wonderful time was had by all. I left as the band struck up and headed home for bed. I need to work on the staying power.

All ready.....

The hall is decorated.
I will take more photos tomorrow.
It looks beautiful.
I am comatose.
The bride is delighted.
It is still pouring with rain.

And

Worst of all.....

I HAVE NOT GOT THE FAINTEST IDEA WHAT I WILL BE WEARING!

I neglected to give a moment's thought to what I will actually be wearing to this wedding. I may be going in jeans.

What one does in the early hours ........

One of the features of Vista which I really like, is the right sidebar. I have the weather in Wellington up (so I can see if Diana is hot, cold or wet), the news headlines from around the world, and also ,the best, a small window which flicks through all the photos on my computer.

Every 5 seconds or so, it changes randomly, and so many photos have popped up which catch my eye, and I can click on them to enlarge them. Photos I had forgotten. Of the babes when they were born, or small. Of scenes I love from places I have visited, of family, of my ancestors, of my garden, and they become a little spur to jog that ailing memory. (Everyone had aluminium pots when I was growing up, Judith!) Triggering memories of distant times. They also serve to remind me how swiftly time is passing by too. July??? It is already July??? 2008????

The 4 photos above are of:

1. My grandmother.


2. My mother (her daughter)


3. Me (her granddaughter)


4. My grandmother.

What do you think? The similarities are unbelievable. Well, to me they are. I tried messing about with them at 4 in the morning (as one does) and made them all black and white, but then I forgot to save them. Sigh. Did I mention I was up and dressed at 3.12am?

At 5am, I had my third cup of coffee.

At 6am, I had my fourth. And bid farewell, as a consequence, to the last vestiges of sleep. Now , it is 8am and I have my 5th next to me. I am wired enough to tackle a hike up a large Alp. This is not helpful when one is required to stay off one's feet for protracted lengths of time. Like months.

Maybe I will go and play with photos again. I need a laptop. Sitting at the desk for hours is not good. Mutter mutter. I am not a ray of sunshine when sleep eludes me.