I am on holiday from school for a week. Our year does not end until 20th July, so we still have a way to go and plenty of high stress exam time as well. This is our last halfterm of the year. And it has not come a moment too soon.
This has been a week of highs and lows. Horrible lows. We will cover the lows first and then end on a high or I could ruin your weekend. I wrote a post last night, and then did not publish it because it made me more miserable just to read it.
The school I work for is restructuring at the moment. That means no-one feels secure, and everyone is watching their backs. It means that the stress levels are higher than ever, and demands are impossible. I have been trying to clarify my position ever since I leapt into teaching, (at their request.... well, they begged) and have run into brick walls all the time. Different agendas, in-house politics, and empire buiding. You name it - it is happening there. My job? Well, I have some decisions to make. They wanted my decisions today. After giving me the option yesterday. Not possible. I need facts and figures, and time to think.
Sigh. I am going to have to start another secret blog which I can password protect for my friends away from here so I can say what I want to say. Frustration and weariness. Those mountains I talked about plodding up merrily? Hah. Don't believe a word I say. Everest is a dwarf. And I am sliding backwards down the slope with increasing pace, wearing roller skates. Staying still would be a mega achievement right now. And the exhaustion makes things worse than ever. I am in a slump. IN. A. SLUMP. I just want things to work. I want things to be calm and fine for a while. I don't want to have to make important decisions. I just want to work hard, do my job and have something of a life.
Enough of the misery.
Glynis and I went to IL DIVO on Wednesday night. It was superb. And the supporting act was a young pianist from America called William Joseph. He was wonderful too. I am getting old, you know.... the initial burts of music at a zillion decibels nearly fried my brain. But after a couple of songs, I was acclimatised. As I keep sighing when I hear them sing.... "Their mothers must be SO proud of them", to my kids' amusement.
The NEC Arena was packed, and I bonded with my neighbour. I mean bonded. She was not petite. And overflowed onto my seat, and our sides, in the heat, sort of welded together. I had given up on the glamorous bit, you understand. I actually rolled my trouser legs up to the knees to avoid passing out from heat. At my advanced age anything is allowed. But the music was beautiful, and the half hour walk back to the car park was fine as it was not raining, and the hour drive was also ok, despite the roadworks which appeared while the concert was on. This was the last Christmas present I had to open. Glynis and Pete gave me my ticket for Christmas, and I can safely say it was worth waiting for.
So now I have to start on that list of "to do" things. Like planting my bedding plants, re-roofing the shed, cutting the hedge. Quiet, relaxing things. I may even post a picture of me perched on the shed roof with a hammer between my teeth. Or maybe not. Or up the ladder wielding hedgetrimmers in a manic fashion. You just never know..........