Friday, May 25, 2007

School is out for a week

I am on holiday from school for a week. Our year does not end until 20th July, so we still have a way to go and plenty of high stress exam time as well. This is our last halfterm of the year. And it has not come a moment too soon.

This has been a week of highs and lows. Horrible lows. We will cover the lows first and then end on a high or I could ruin your weekend. I wrote a post last night, and then did not publish it because it made me more miserable just to read it.

The school I work for is restructuring at the moment. That means no-one feels secure, and everyone is watching their backs. It means that the stress levels are higher than ever, and demands are impossible. I have been trying to clarify my position ever since I leapt into teaching, (at their request.... well, they begged) and have run into brick walls all the time. Different agendas, in-house politics, and empire buiding. You name it - it is happening there. My job? Well, I have some decisions to make. They wanted my decisions today. After giving me the option yesterday. Not possible. I need facts and figures, and time to think.

Sigh. I am going to have to start another secret blog which I can password protect for my friends away from here so I can say what I want to say. Frustration and weariness. Those mountains I talked about plodding up merrily? Hah. Don't believe a word I say. Everest is a dwarf. And I am sliding backwards down the slope with increasing pace, wearing roller skates. Staying still would be a mega achievement right now. And the exhaustion makes things worse than ever. I am in a slump. IN. A. SLUMP. I just want things to work. I want things to be calm and fine for a while. I don't want to have to make important decisions. I just want to work hard, do my job and have something of a life.

Enough of the misery.

Glynis and I went to IL DIVO on Wednesday night. It was superb. And the supporting act was a young pianist from America called William Joseph. He was wonderful too. I am getting old, you know.... the initial burts of music at a zillion decibels nearly fried my brain. But after a couple of songs, I was acclimatised. As I keep sighing when I hear them sing.... "Their mothers must be SO proud of them", to my kids' amusement.

The NEC Arena was packed, and I bonded with my neighbour. I mean bonded. She was not petite. And overflowed onto my seat, and our sides, in the heat, sort of welded together. I had given up on the glamorous bit, you understand. I actually rolled my trouser legs up to the knees to avoid passing out from heat. At my advanced age anything is allowed. But the music was beautiful, and the half hour walk back to the car park was fine as it was not raining, and the hour drive was also ok, despite the roadworks which appeared while the concert was on. This was the last Christmas present I had to open. Glynis and Pete gave me my ticket for Christmas, and I can safely say it was worth waiting for.

So now I have to start on that list of "to do" things. Like planting my bedding plants, re-roofing the shed, cutting the hedge. Quiet, relaxing things. I may even post a picture of me perched on the shed roof with a hammer between my teeth. Or maybe not. Or up the ladder wielding hedgetrimmers in a manic fashion. You just never know..........


Linda said...

Oh Linds, I just had to chuckle over that last little bit. I'm so sorry you're having such a difficult time. I'm adding you to my prayer list right now. I hate being pressured to make decisions. I too, just want life to be peaceful and calm. It just doesn't seem to work that way.
Thankfully you have a week off to regroup a bit. Take some time for yourself.
I'm praying for you dear friend.

Hungry Hippo said...

When you talk about your work I know exactly what you mean. I also feel relief that somebody else knows what it feels like. I'm not sure it is possible to explain in words. Enjoy your half term!!!!!

Penless Thoughts said...

Oh linds, you crack me up!!!! I literally laugh outloud reading the "goog" part of this. I'm so sorry you're feeling such pressure at your employment. Why can't employers understand they lose in the end when the enviorment is like that. Let us know what you decide.

I want to know how you'll take the picture of yourself on top of the shed. Please tell!!

Morning Glory said...

Work-related troubles really cause horrid stress, don't they? I'm so sorry and I hope it settles down soon.

I love Il Divo! They have such a rich sound.

This is our weekend to do massive amounts of work in the flower beds and yard. I've actually got a number of things planted and we're tackling more on Saturday.

Susie said...

You sound like your break is much needed. Hope you have a restful and relaxing time. Can't wait to see you perched on the shed!

Crystal said...

I wish I could deliver these ((( HUGS ))) in person, my friend and that we might set a while and visit. I can imagine a bit of what you are having to deal with at your school. I hope you can cope for the rest of the year . Take time for yourself!

I've been wondering about IL Divo in case they ever came this way. Thanks for the recommendation!

PEA said...

Hi Linds:-) I'm so sorry to hear that you're having such a hard time at work right changing decisions are always hard to make and one goes through a lot of anxiety until the right decision is made...then you fret wondering if you did make the right decision! It's a vicious circle isn't it!! Glad you enjoyed IL DIVO even though you did get melded to your neighbour! lol Hopefully you can get to planting your flowers this week...omigosh stay away from the top of the shed roof!!!! lol xoxo