Wednesday, May 30, 2007

A Eureka moment.

Hello. I am back. I have been talking to my friends about work and the unease I am feeling at the moment, and one "Eureka" moment has really had an impact on me and what I am thinking. And being a generous soul, I am sharing it with you.

I have discovered the difference age ( and the wisdom or experience that age brings) makes to the workplace. I see things from a diametrically opposite side to the young ones at the school where I work. Their identity is caught up in what work they do. How high up the ladder they are. They fight for their position, and defend it with everything they have in the arsenal. Whatever it takes. They ARE their work. They are defined by their position. Me??? Oh no. I am SO much more than the work I do. And this is something that comes with the wisdom of age, I think. My work is a part of me. It is not me. I don't want it to BE me. You know what I am saying? I am not saying that I am better, just different, with a different perspective on life.

I don't need to rise up the ladder. Can't be bothered with ladders, unless it is to chop trees. I have no desire to advance anywhere at the moment. If I decide on further training, it will be because it interests me, or because I want to learn something new. It will not be to acquire status. My status is just fine, thank you. Everything I hold dear is here at home. In this place, with my family and friends. I work to earn enough money to pay the bills. I do not need a fortune. I am happy as I am. My ambition is to be a better person, better mother, better friend, sister, daughter. My dream is to make a difference. I seem to be out of step with modern life. I am a dinasaur.

The young empire builders have not learned this yet. They have not been confronted with the tragedies or fragility of life. Yet. More money. Bigger houses. More power. I don't want a glittering career. If I could, I would stay home like I did for 30 years, and do what I do best. Don't get me wrong..... I have to work, and do so willingly. It is the attitude to money that saddens me. The hard truth today is that money is central, not people. The budget is important, not the kids. I would not be at all surprised if (or when) the day dawns when schools are expected to make a profit in financial terms. Don't they realise why people are more important? I am sitting here thinking that I would not swap my life for theirs for anything. I value who I am.

I want to be back in my world, where people care about each other. Where people do good things, and are kind. Where there are no ulterior motives. Where there is no back-stabbing or rumour-mongering. Where people give freely of their time and money and talents. Where help is as natural as breathing. Where people do not lie or twist innocent words. Where you are valued for who you are, not what you own or what position you hold. Naive? Maybe. Probably. But good? Oh yes. I like my world. I am not so sure about this other place I have wandered into.

People tell me that this "other" world I find myself in is the normal one. This is the way things are. It enrages me. It saddens me. It makes me wonder how we let things get to this stage. Is it just age that makes me see it is wrong? Is it my belief in God who clearly tells us that Love is the most important thing in life? Or has it always been this way?

Where is the genuine laughter and happiness? And why does my son say to me almost every day...."Smile, Mum" ???? I have a lot of thinking to do.


Linda said...

Brilliant Linds!!! Absolutley wonderfully said. I couldn't agree with you more. I think the really sad part is that some day that realization will dawn on them and they will regret all the wasted years. All of those "things" can so quickly be taken from you - it is the relationships that really matter. You did such a great job of expressing what so many of us feel. I don't think I would do very well in the work place. I -like you - simply wouldn't fit in. You have so much wisdom. Perhaps they will look at your life and see the richness and blessing of a life well lived.

Penless Thoughts said...

If you could see and hear it I would stand and give you a standing ovation for this well written piece. I SO hear what you are saying. I experience the same thing. It is so nice to finally be comfortable in our own skin and to know beyond a shadow of a doubt who we are. I do think part of it is age, but not entirely. It is truly the work of the Holy Spirit conforming us into what He desires and has in mind. You are a very special woman Linds and I would love to meet you and hug you in person. But these will have to do (((hugs)))

Susie said...

Hi Linds,
What a wonderfully well-written post this was!
I can tell you are a woman defined by so many things other than your work.
Hope that soon "Mum's smile" is happening all the time!!

PEA said...

This fast paced, modern, money making world is also something I find very alien to my nature. I look at these young people, trying to climb the corporate ladder and not caring who they hurt, etc. It IS sad and I want no part of it. I'm lucky that I can stay at home, in my own little world:-) I know, though, that if I did have to go out to work, I'd be happy with what I have. xoxo

Diana Langdon said...

I agree, but think its less to do with your age and more to do with who you are. I can say that as your 26 year old daughter!

Its simply about passion and purpose. When your passion (work, teaching, goals) become your purpose, you're sunk. If you're using your passions to serve a HIGHER purpose, you'll have something to show at the end of it all. At the end of it all, I hope God won't be saying "nice car, Diana" rather than "wow, look what you achieved when you lived for something of greater purpose".

Love you heaps xxx
ps am off to Dunedin to see Penguins this evening and will be back on Tuesday. K comes on Wednesday! Yay yay yay!

Morning Glory said...

I must simply echo the comments above. It really does cause one to think about life and who and what we are in it. I much prefer who I am now over the standards set by society. Excellent words, Linds.

Crystal said...

Oh, everyone else has said it so well that I echo their opinions. It's hard to have the 2 opposite opinions/ways of doing things in one building - I know! Stay true to yourself and what you know to be good and right and honouring to Him who watches over all. And come here whenever you need a ((( HUG )))and some smiles!!

meggie said...

O Linds, I know exactly what you mean. I feel just the same way!
I am a non believer, so dont have any gods to point my way, but I believe exactly the same things you do, & feel exactly the same about what matter, what counts, & how important people are over everything else.
Do keep your values, & try to keep smiling.
I am lucky, now we have retired we can choose who to spend time with.

Anonymous said...

We dinosaurs need to stick together!!:) Actually I will be lecturing on this very topic next week....I will be talking about 'middle age' and how our perspective changes. You wrote this very eloquently...and I feel the same way! I have learned in my life that anything done with selfish intent never amounts to a hill of beans...but when I listen quietly to where the Lord wants to lead blessings that abound...but they are blessings many would not understand...for they are not big cars, big houses, or promotions...they are quite times spent on the beach watching the sun set, they are the sound of laughter during conversations with my daughter, they are the a-ha moments of my students as I minister to them, as God would have me do, to where they are right now. Thanks for this thoughtful post!