It has been a busy week around here. Missy turned one, and I was there to see the fun, and get to know my little granddaughter a little better. She has the hugest grin, and when she laughs, I melt. Those of you who are grannies too will know just what I mean.
And the birthday party with her little friends.... oh my word, it took my back to the days when mine were tiny. I took 300 photos in 3 days. I reckon I showed great restraint. It was lovely to spend time with them all, and I wanted to see David too, but he was working on tests and presentations, so that will have to wait. I hated leaving.
And the snow came back here at home with a vengeance, and more fell last night. There will be yet more later today, I gather. It is still definitely winter outside, but indoors, I have declared spring. I packed away all the red cushions and throws and candles and vases. Out came the pinks and pale blues, and greens instead. And the Easter deocrations will be added when we are closer to Eatser. Change is good. It looks bright and light and with tulips on the kitchen table and daffodils in the lounge, I can pretend it is spring. If I don't look out the window, of course.
I was very unsettled for a day or 2 when I got home, just as I was when I left Switzerland. I need to be at home, and then I get here and think....Why? Why do I need to be here alone, when my family is all over the place? Surely there are other viable options? It is a combination of factors at the moment, though, and I know things will evolve as time passes. There is just me to consider. I am not part of a couple. And that changes things a great deal, especially when I am not as agile, or strong as I used to be. Getting from "a" to "b" has its challenges. And if "a" is home and "b" is one of my family, it is incredibly frustrating.
Couple that with fierce independence, and the desire to have a life of my own and not just to be an optional extra in my children's lives, and the balancing act gets tougher.
I am musing aloud here, my friends. One part of me wants to set of on a global trot to have adventures. Another part wants to be with my family. With my kids. My mother. My sister. Another part of me wants to build a new life. Sigh. Maybe I will just stop now and retreat to the couch with the crochet hook. Missy needs a purple hat. And a green one. The Olympic highlights will be on soon, and as I missed the bobsleigh by falling asleep at 1am, I need to catch up.
Have a great Sunday!