Sunday, February 21, 2010

A busy week...

It has been a busy week around here. Missy turned one, and I was there to see the fun, and get to know my little granddaughter a little better. She has the hugest grin, and when she laughs, I melt. Those of you who are grannies too will know just what I mean.

And the birthday party with her little friends.... oh my word, it took my back to the days when mine were tiny. I took 300 photos in 3 days. I reckon I showed great restraint. It was lovely to spend time with them all, and I wanted to see David too, but he was working on tests and presentations, so that will have to wait. I hated leaving.

And the snow came back here at home with a vengeance, and more fell last night. There will be yet more later today, I gather. It is still definitely winter outside, but indoors, I have declared spring. I packed away all the red cushions and throws and candles and vases. Out came the pinks and pale blues, and greens instead. And the Easter deocrations will be added when we are closer to Eatser. Change is good. It looks bright and light and with tulips on the kitchen table and daffodils in the lounge, I can pretend it is spring. If I don't look out the window, of course.

I was very unsettled for a day or 2 when I got home, just as I was when I left Switzerland. I need to be at home, and then I get here and think....Why? Why do I need to be here alone, when my family is all over the place? Surely there are other viable options? It is a combination of factors at the moment, though, and I know things will evolve as time passes. There is just me to consider. I am not part of a couple. And that changes things a great deal, especially when I am not as agile, or strong as I used to be. Getting from "a" to "b" has its challenges. And if "a" is home and "b" is one of my family, it is incredibly frustrating.

Couple that with fierce independence, and the desire to have a life of my own and not just to be an optional extra in my children's lives, and the balancing act gets tougher.

I am musing aloud here, my friends. One part of me wants to set of on a global trot to have adventures. Another part wants to be with my family. With my kids. My mother. My sister. Another part of me wants to build a new life. Sigh. Maybe I will just stop now and retreat to the couch with the crochet hook. Missy needs a purple hat. And a green one. The Olympic highlights will be on soon, and as I missed the bobsleigh by falling asleep at 1am, I need to catch up.

Have a great Sunday!


Vee said...

Yes, I hear that unsettledness and that wondering what to do, what to do... Don't worry. That I can assure you. Rest and lean because your God knows exactly what is planned. And it's better than anything you could imagine. Who knows what is just around the corner?

Missy is riding a little bike! Goodness, the little ones seem to grow faster than ever these days. Glad that you had a little fun...300 pictures worth! That's a marathon right there to organize them such a wonderful documentation of a first birthday.

Vee said...

And I'm giving myself permission not to make sense before 9 in the morning! ;D

Jo said...

I am here to tell you that Missy is one lucky little bitty girl. She reaps the benefits of the crochet hook. Mine do too and they love it. I struggled with questions about should I or shouldn't I for quite a while and then I made that choice 10 years ago and found the love of my life. I am so blessed. Love and prayers Linds.

Crystal said...

Happy Birthday to the little Miss! I know exactly what you mean with the multitude of pictures, the wonderment and the desire to be there for every single moment. Do spend as much time with her now as you can. The bonds you form in these first few years will carry you both into a future of fun, love and sharing. Your questions and longing resonate with me too. Trust and wait that He will show you the next step of the plan He has for your life.

Meanwhile - crochet away and enjoy this week of the Olympics! Too bad Great Britain lost to Canada in men's curling last night. I thought of you with every shot they showed :)) Happy Sunday to you!

Dawn said...

What a fun time you had. And yes, those grins just make life worthwhile. The twins are at the point where so much of what they do makes me laugh - I remember those days with the other two, and it is such fun.

Have a good week. Does it help for me to tell you that it's snowed here for two days now and I'm cold!? Love the idea of springtime inside the house.

Jess said...

Precious picture! What fun! Hope all is well with you

Have a great week

Love, Jess

Lori said...

Oh Missy is adorable! Happy Birthday!!

We have cabin fever terribly bad. I too am so ready for Spring!!!!