Monday, February 01, 2010

The real world.....

Well, January is now a part of our combined histories, people. Over. Done. Gone. It did not go as planned, did it. Well, not here at RCR, anyway.

A new month now. February. February reminds me of an unbearably hot summer 29 years ago, when I was 9 months pregnant. The southern hemisphere, of course. No chance of unbearably hot anything up in the north! Diana was born in the middle of February, and then in February last year, this little family welcomed Missy into our ranks. What an impact one small girl has had, much like her Auntie did 29 years ago. February has brought such blessings to my life. I like February.

As each of my children arrived, their presence changed me forever, and expanded my life in unimaginable ways. They continue to add dimensions I had never considered as each year passes, and they introduce so many new ideas, places, thoughts and possibilities to my life. Heaven only knows what comes next! My granddaughter has done just the same. She changed me into a Granny, and a whole new world unveiled itself when that happened.

The rhythm of my days up here in the Alps is very different to my normal life. It hinges on the fact that I don't know what tomorrow holds. When I will go back. How I will go back. How long I need to stay. It is as though life is suspended. Temporary. Unplanned. (By me, that is.) I am "winging it". I am an expert at winging it. Caught up in the winds of life, not certain where they will deposit me, or if there is about to be a tornado to sweep me up and alter the course of my life yet again. These are things I am familiar with, let me tell you. Uncertainties. Changes. Detours.

I am in a philosophical mood at the moment. All the above is a long-winded way of saying that my truth for today is this.......

This is not temporary.
This is not being in limbo.
This is not random.
This is not haphazard.
This is my life.

I have just been shifted from the driver's seat. Again.

I can spend my days wondering, worrying, planning ahead for all unknown eventualities.


I can embrace every day as it comes, and enjoy every moment.

It may be for another few days. It may be for another week or 2. It may be.... I have no idea. For now, this is my life. I am needed. But I cannot and will not spend each day pondering what ifs etc. Tempting though that is at times. When I feel the brain delving into dark and worst case scenario places, I have to get up and move and do something constructive. If you could see the mountain of hooky stuff, you will understand that there has been a lot of "Doing Something Constructive" going on around here. And I am tired of waging a war with my thoughts. Lawyers, hospitals, paperwork, meetings....they can all wait. In the greater scheme of things they are unimportant.

February is going to be a month of celebration for me. Celebration.
Two wonderful girls. Girls I am far away from , but we are not going there right now....
Unexpected time with my sister.
Walking in the mountains.
An abundance of snow.
Mum's recovery.
A (much warmer) cosy place called home.

For now. For as long as it is necessary. The real world is not waiting for me. THIS is the real world.

This white world, full of beauty, is my reality today.


Morning Glory said...

I like your reality for today.

Needled Mom said...

It is always amazing at what gets tossed into our so well planned life. Perhaps it is best that we do not know what is coming our way. The mantra is constant flexability.

Vee said...

Ohhhh, Linds. You can not know how much your words mean to me today. I so admire your willingness to "go there" and describe your world and your thoughts. Missy is already nearly a year old? Oh my! I know that I am growing older by that statement alone. It reminds me of all the elders before me who said things like that all the time. It's a leaning thing this living and not on "our own understanding."

Olson Family said...

Many Warm thoughts to you Linds! The pic's of Engelberg are gorgeous - wish I could come have coffee. Enough snow that driving is iffy with a schedule that revolves around school - I worry about some of the people I see on the roads - Yikes!
Stay steady out on the trails and enjoy the fresh air. Yes, more snow coming, more shoveling and yes, perhaps another room on the igloo. My best wishes to you & your family there and for your Mum's recovery. S

Crystal said...

I love seeing what thoughts you are having each day when there's a new post up! I agree with your philosophy 100%! So much beauty - so many blessings - so many loved ones - such an amazing journey - you are right to treasure and enjoy it! Happy Birthday to your girlies - I have one born this month too - and we shall get to see her (and her family) at the end of the month - I can hardly wait! Have a happy day in the mountains with the snow and maybe some sunshine.

Dawn said...

I like February, too. Kev's birthday is the 13th - he was born on his cousin's first birthday, so that was always fun when they were boys. Then of course Valentine's Day is huge here in my town. But it was always overshadowed by Kev's b-day. And I like that it's short - payday comes more quickly!

Good attitude, friend - enjoy every moment in the beauty of your surroundings, and with your loved ones!

Colin said...

What the hell is "Germlish? and how is Auntie Joy?