I am in that "whirling dervish of the mind" state again. It is approaching 1am, and here I am. Wide awake. Black coffee next to me. Am I the only one who needs to micro-manage everything and everyone around me?
It is ridiculous, I know. Having to be the lynch pin or oracle is not a talent. It is a disaster, because after a little while, it is what you are expected to be. And that takes away initiative from those you manage. Not to mention that it totally wipes you out.
Oh well. I am a work in progress.
I have some words I want to delve into soon on my mind. Linda wrote a wonderful post on the words "always" and "never", and it made me think a great deal. And another word was "regrets". But to be honest, I don't feel like writing right now. I am letting my fingers play on the keyboard and we will see where they lead.
Soon I will tumble into bed, you see, and while I sleep, the world will keep turning. The clock will keep ticking away the minutes of my life, and my daughter will get on another plane, which will take her home to NZ. While I sleep, planes will fly around the globe. Ships will keep sailing through the seas.
While I sleep, my garden will keep growing, and I wonder what surprises I will have when I wander out there in the soft morning light. Which lily will have decided to awake, and tentatively open its petals to the world?
While I sleep, people will die, and babies will be born. And half the world will be awake and going about their day, and the other half will be curled up in their beds, dreaming of days yet to come, dreams yet to be fulfilled.
It is already tomorrow. Today. And I have yet to say farewell to today. Yesterday. I am caught between the days and the nights. And I think back to that day-night 4 years ago when there was no end to one day..... it fell into the next in endless hours.
But that was then and this is now, and I am surrounded by lists of things I need to do. Tomorrow. Today. The floor won't be cleaned while I sleep. Nor will the vacuuming be done.
But while I sleep, my soul will rest. My body will relax. My hair will end up like a bird's nest. The phone won't ring (I hope), and the house will fall silent. Well it will after I switch off Sky news.
While I sleep, somewhere someone will be weeping. Someone will be suffering. I stand in the darkness of my garden, and I can't hear anything. Silence. The world - my world - is asleep. And here I am.
And while I sleep, 90% of the people who read this blog will be awake. Ahead or behind me in time. Ah well. Enough now, fingers. You have played enough for tonight.
It is time for me to sleep now.