I have come up with the perfect plan to get rid of the economic woes of the globe. On a pre-determined date and time in the not too distant future, every head of state around the world will press the delete button, and eliminate all debt. Genius. And we will start again with zero debt. Simple. All slimming down of departments in all the governments will continue. All overdrafts will be wiped out and will cease to exist, as will credit cards. Good old debit cards and cash will be the only currencies. Banks will become places which look after our money as a service. Like they used to do. Developing countries could look ahead, instead of paying off the crippling debts of yesteryear. As could families.
And pigs would be flying over central England.
Wouldn't that be good? Not fair, of course, to those who did the lending in the first place, but life is not fair, after all.
Cloud cuckoo land. I know I know. But what IS this debt?? It is not real money, because our venerable governments saw fit to pop the printing presses on overdrive and printed money in abundance. I always thought it had to be backed by Real Gold. But we sold ours, here in the UK. Oops. And all that new money flying off those presses? I have no idea where it went because I can assure you, the stimulus never actually reached the Casa de la Rocking Chair. I would have noticed, and been sure and swift to press the "buy now" button at Amazon.
The country has been dwelling on the spending cuts announced yesterday, and what they mean personally. 490,000 public sector jobs will go. Cuts everywhere. We appear to be acquiring 2 new aircraft carriers which will unfortunately have no planes to fly onto or off them, because they haven't got any suitable ones. Huh?
I tell you, people, we need to move into parliament. We, the women who know how to manage tight budgets. Mind you, I did mention in my letter to the PM that I could teach the Chancellor of the Exchequer a thing or twelve about managing a budget. I am an expert. He has chosen to ignore my suggestion. Oh well.
And the other piece of news which has the nation (well, except for moi) enthralled, is the fact that Wayne Rooney, aged 24, football (soccer) superstar, wants to leave his club. Poor lamb is not wildly happy that he is not earning as much as some of the players at other clubs. Among other things. Not enough. He earns £100 000 a week and wants to up it to £1 million a month. I will say no more.
Except that his timing - all this exploding at the same time as the nation is told it will have to work longer, earn less, pay more tax, and probably lose their jobs - could be better. I prefer rugby to football, so this is all just information provided by the national press today. It is really astonishing how involved the phone-ins on the radio are though....maybe a little light distraction from the more pressing economic woes. Just a point to add here - the "bread line" (poverty) is about £16,000 @ year in the UK. Average salary is apparently £24,000 @ year. You will see why I am a little bemused. He is 24 for heaven's sake, and spectacularly underperformed at the World Cup. And now I will forget I ever knew his name.
Right. Not exactly scintillating stuff.
In more personal news, you will be happy to know that I am no longer frozen. I switched on the heating and it works. At the moment. And the house is warm. I no longer have a cold nose. So much for my stubborn determination to be cold but frugal.
Money money money....... and as for the banks.......