Sleepless nights and consequences

Where has the weekend gone? The fact that I seem to have developed sleeping sickness could account for a large part, I suppose. This is not the medical condition, I hasten to add.... it is an exhaustion-related-not-sleeping-decision-making-condition, and results in the patient falling asleep whenever he/she sits down for 2 seconds. I have the Concert for Diana on in the background right now, and there are parts which have caused me to shut my eyes and wince. Therefore fall asleep. (Most parts are just fine, though!)

I digress.

Things of note:

1. Car bombs diffused in London. Close to where my son works.
2. Terrorist attack on Glasgow airport. Close to where Ros lives.
3. Britain is now on critical level of alert.
4. More rain.
5. Princes' concert for their mother.
6. Oh yes. I resigned.

That leap of faith? I took it. Interestingly, my daily readings last week were all about leaps of faith, and how we tend to want guarantees before we leap. Hmmm. I know that. But I think I have entered the "leap then think" phase of life. I had no choice really. The school is restructuring, and they offered me reduced teaching hours and more support hours and a very large drop in salary, and which ever way I looked at it, it didn't work.

Making the decision to leave my girls was devastating, and I developed a severe case of "hayfever" to disguise the tears in one of my classes. One of the girls said to me ... You will never leave us, Miss, will you? You love us. I looked over to the letter lying ready on my desk and just said...Sometimes things happen and we have no control over the outcome, sweetie. She looked at me and said... Everyone leaves. No-one cares. We are just the throwaway kids. It nearly broke my heart. But I also have a son of my own. I will be there till the end of this term.

And then? Who knows. But in all those leaps over the past year, I have learnt a lot. He doesn't break His promises.

The timing could have been better. This time last year....... we were about to get the news that Geoff needed another valve replacement. 6 days from now it will be a year.

Rain , rain, stay away........

The weekend is nearly over, and the rain has stayed away for today at least. I cannot describe the torrential rain that has fallen over the past week. Roads washed away, flooding. The carnival was washed out after the parade. I did go up for a while, clutching my umbrella....(I have a couple of brain cells still active!) and I did take some photos. Lots of people, but then down poured the rain, and I , along with the rest of the village, headed for cover. Fortunately, Pete and Glynis live close by, and so I arrived for coffee.

Today the sun shone periodically, and after church, I went to join my friends for Annette's birthday tea in her garden. Cakes..... slices..... merinques.....cream.....fruit salad.....Pimms..... coffee and tea. A slice of summer. Add that to my friends, you have a very happy mix indeed. The final of Britain's got talent is just starting at the moment, and I am really hoping that the ordinary man wins. The 6 acts in the final are all great.

I think I am close to making my decision re work. I have needed some time to think, and now I am at the stage where I want to make plans. You know, I have made some epic leaps into the void in the past year, and so far, I have never been let down. Those arms are always there to catch me, and I really believe they always will be. I am the first to acknowledge that I was in a position where I had little or no choice back then. I had to jump. My survival instincts were out in force, and I did a fair amount of clinging to the clifftop by my fingernails. A lot, really. Mega amounts, if I am going to be truthful. I am a control freak. Once they were prised off the rock, though, and control was wrested from my manic grip, I had no option other than trusting. I learned a lot. So here I am about to leap again, and this time I am taking run up to the edge. None of the wimpy thing this time.

One more person to go on the show. I can't stand the suspense. I think I may have o-d-ed on TV this weekend. I feel the need to do the ironing to avoid the suspense. And I loathe and detest ironing. I just happen to like things that crease. Like cotton and linen. I am rambling like a demented flea. I need a life. Lewis Hamilton won his second Grand Prix. British sport has something to cheer about. Andy Roddick won the Artois championship in the run up to Wimbeldon, so America also has something to cheer about. Paul is about to sing Nessum Dorma, I think.

LATER: PAUL WON!!!!!!!!!! HE GETS TO SING IN FRONT OF THE QUEEN AT THE ROYAL VARIETY PERFORMANCE! AND £100 000.

Semi finals

Ok, I am trying to load something from YouTube. My son is about to go out, so I want to do it before he goes. I hope.

Last night was the semi-finals from Britain's got talent, and the ordinary man was back. He swept into the finals on Sunday and mesmerised us all yet again. Wow.

And please note that at the end, all the judges were on their feet!





It has been an exhausting day at work, but now it is the weekend. The rain continues to fall. Most notably, just as I was on gate duty at the end of school, far away from shelter and without an umbrella. You do not want to know what I look like. We came perilously close to a wet T-shirt competition. Not good.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Poppies

I went for a walk along the river this afternoon, through the fields in the valley close to where I live.


I saw this field of poppies on the way home from church this morning, so I just had to go back and take some photos. I managed to walk up the edge of the field so I was right there in the midst of them, and it was just beautiful. Even though the skies were grey.

Stunning.

Lazy days......

Here is a photo of my hosta. It is growing in an old metal wheelbarrow, and it grows larger each year. And here is one of my favourite roses. We have a tradition of planting roses to mark special events, and my garden is full of them. They are all starting to bloom at the moment, so the scent is wonderful as you walk around.

I like weekends, when I have nothing planned. I can be lazy. This past week has been rather fraught with backache, sick days, inspections, parents' evenings and observations. But the weekend is here, and the sun is shining and I have been down to the allotment with David to water and weed. There was supposed to be rain, so I was hoping to evade the watering etc, but alas, none fell. Rain is very convenient when I have a great deal to water!

The potatoes are growing beautifully, and it all looks ok, if a little droopy. The water should sort the droop though. And the anti-bunny barricade is holding. I am an impatient gardener. I want to eat the things I am growing. Now would be good.

I have nothing inspiring to relate. My mind is mush. Diana and Katherine are arriving in Auckland to stay with my best friend tomorrow. Linds (yes, we are both Linds) and I met in university residence back in the old days. When we were 17. And have remained the best of all best friends ever since, even though continents and oceans separate us. It is wonderful to know she is close by should Diana ever need someone. She is her godmother. We had our babies at the same time, delivered by the same doctor, so timed our checkup visits together so we could chat in the waiting room. I will have to write about her sometime too. She is amazing.

I will add some photos later when I get to the main computer. My son has claimed squatter's rights to it at the moment. Loosely translated, that means I need to rise in the early hours if I want to use it. But you will be dazzled by my potato plants. Oh yes you will.

Anyone know how to stretch weekends?

I said I loved weekends. I do. The trouble is that they are too short. I want another one now. I just opened the lesson plan template to start writing lesson plans, and thought, no. Not right now. It can wait till later. Or very early tomorrow. I am not in the mood.

Andrew and Ann arrived shortly after I got home on Friday, and I spent a lot of time just looking at this child of mine, who is now 30. Hmmm. Yes, he is still the child I gave birth to. Just all grown into a man a long time ago, with his own personality, ideas, beliefs, values. If I met him today, I would like him. He is interesting and immensely intelligent, and still manages to deposit all his belongings all over the house, leaving a trail from the front door. It is reassuring that some things never change! The boy is still in there somewhere.

I would (or could) have slept all morning on Saturday. Mum woke me with coffee at 8.30 so I dragged myself out of bed. Reluctantly. And then issued the edict that everyone was going to go and dig the allotment. 3 line whip time. Mum too. So off we all trundled in the allotment car. This is a cunning plan to compensate for the fact that the previous allotment holder has yet to give me the keys to the sheds down there. I keep all the tools and equipment in Geoff's car, and we use that to go down to the allotment, hence the Allotment Car. I am a genius.

David and I rolled about with laughter at Andrew's disbelief at the size of the earthworms, and bugs. As Ann said..... he is not at one with nature. But we all got digging, and as usual, David and I managed to maroon ourselves on an island in the middle of the digging area. Everything is growing beautifully, and there should be more rain, so it is looking good. I planted all the beans as well. David is amazing, and incredibly strong. He is used to the physical work now, and his brother is not. Nor has he any intention of getting used to it. Unless he visits me, that is. I require my sons to dig. That is why I had them. Of course.

The men came home to watch the FA cup final, while I took Mum to the garden centre to get petunias for my baskets and pots, and then, so help me, we all fell asleep. The football was mind-numbingly boring, even for the fans, and we all know how much I LOVE football. I don't think so. Fortunately, someone phoned, so we managed to wake in time to go out to dinner.

The World's End was great, and we met Pete and Glynis there, and had a happy evening together, celebrating Andrew's advanced age, before coming home, and nodding off in front of the tv again. I need something to give me energy, it seems. As a matter of fact, I called my friend Ros on Friday night at 9pm, and we were discussing how sad it is that we KNOW we can phone at 9pm on a Friday night, and we will be at home. Tiling floors. Snoozing. Whatever. We clearly need to get a life. Or lives.

And then today, I shot out of bed early to tidy the house on the run, before Colin arrived from Heathrow. He lives in Australia now, but we all grew up together in Cape Town, and our Mums were best friends. I had not seen him for 9 years, and we had a great time catching up. I also managed to almost serve him pasta with carbonara sauce, before Mum realised it had bacon in and he was vegetarian, so I had to zoom down to the shop to buy an alternative sauce, at the point where I was actually dishing up the food. Not clever. But, it all worked out. They chatted amongst themselves while I ran about like a headless chicken. Nothing unusual, then.

Now we are back to normal. The house is still recovering from the sudden influx of people, and the dishes are piled up, but who cares. I had a great weekend. One more week till half term.

Ho hum..... I am sitting here waiting for an email to arrive, with photos taken this weekend by my son. They have been swallowed out there in the ether. Patience is not my best quality. Correction... the lack of it is my worst quality. Now where did I put that axe???? Eureka! It has arrived!!

Crystal- I can't remember where your blog is. I want to visit..... can you please leave me a link in any comment section? Thanks!

The good part of Friday is here

Ahhhhhhh............................ the weekend is here. I love weekends. Perhaps I have mentioned that before. Once or 50 times. Fridays are my absolute worst days at school, but Andrew and Ann have arrived for the weekend, and we will be having a celebratory meal out tomorrow together. How Andrew managed to tear Ann away from her new clavinova, I do not know, but it is great to have them here for a couple of days. Then on Sunday, we are expecting our friend from Australia for the day. He is en route to Europe and has one day here.

So it will be busy, and I will probably not have much time to post or visit but I will catch up when they have all gone. Half term starts next Friday, and we have a week off. I can't wait.

We must get down to the allotment tomorrow and dig that next patch, and it is the FA cup final from the New Wembley, so I gather the males will be watching. Not me. I just want to sleeeeeeeeeeeep.............

Stolen child - Pray for Madeleine

Little Madeleine McCann was snatched from her parent's holiday apartment in Portugal 10 days ago. Please pray for her safe return. She had a 4th birthday on Saturday. It is unbearably sad to think some evil people would do something like this. The more prayers, the better. And our blogging world is very good at the prayer part. Very good. So let's make it work for her too. The link is to the latest BBC story and the photo is from the BBC website as well. If I had the vaguest idea how to make a button, I would make one. Is there anyone out there who could? Then we could all have it on our blogs. Especially as this is Mother's Day around the world.

My sister phoned my mother today for Mother's Day (it is in Switzerland too, just not here) and she asked why I had not put it on my blog. I look at the readership on the map and there are people in Europe, both Western and Eastern, who do read it, and so I especially ask them to keep looking, wherever they may be.

We all have so much to be thankful for.

1. Our children
2. Our parents, especially our mothers
3. Our families
4. Our friends

And also for the ability to enjoy the ordinary everyday things in our lives. The simple things.

Like these - my weekend review looks something like this:

1. Go to town to pay bills
2. Take Mum to Traidcraft coffee morning
3. Take Mum shopping
4. Work on allotment between rain showers
5. Dig up half the weeds in the world
6. Plant more potatoes and beans
7. Lose ability to straighten up
8. Lose all strength in hands due to weed removal
9. Go to Eurovision party No 1
10. Shriek with disbelieving laughter at results
11. And songs
12. But the UK did not come bottom
13. 3rd from the bottom
14. Church in the rain
15. Marked books
16. Out to coffee with friend
17. Lesson planning
18. Coursework planning
19. Threw self on floor in despair when saw impossible new teaching scheme handed out by new dept head.
20. Contemplated resignation
21. Again
22. Found chocolate
23. Ate it
24. Sundry meals cooked, washing done, beds changed etc etc

There you have it. I lead a truely exciting life. It is still raining, and the heating is still on. And I have to go to work in the morning. Sigh.

Time to relax

Spring. Hmmm. Yes. Yesterday was a stunningly warm and beautiful day and today was back to winter woolies. The wind was absolutely icy. However...... it is the weekend, and who cares. It can do what it wants. I am free to do what I want!

Yesterday morning, I took Mum to Podington for tea. The garden centre is my favourite and the best I have ever been to and the coffee shop is great. We looked at the bedding plants, and I resisted the temptation to buy loads, and just got a couple of tumbelina petunias. For now. I am not putting in masses this year, as we will be away for some of the time, and everything will expire. I will do the baskets, though. I love cascading flowers and colour. The other thing I did get was fleece for the allotment, just in case we have a few hard frosts. They had lovely little plastic dome thingies too, which you put over your plants. I refrained from buying them, but I did have this image of cake tray domes all over the allotment that made me smile.

It is bookclub here on Monday night, so I had to get some books. We do not all read the same book. Whoever is hosting buys about 5 books which go into the bookclub. Predictably, I can never find books I want desperately when it is my turn. Next week there will be dozens I covet. However, I have some that I think will make interesting reading.

House of Orphans, by Helen Dunmore, set in Finland
Be near me by Andrew O'Hagan, about an English priest who takes over a small Scottish parish
One thousand white women by Jim Fergus, about the Brides for Indians scheme in the US in 1875
Don't tell Mum I work on the rigs by Paul Carter, a biography of an oil rig worker who travels the world

They will have to do. I still have to clean the house, and buy the drinks and nibbles. Tomorrow.

Today I have been to church and also went to water the allotment. And the carpets. I am not certifiable. I decided that while the carpets will kill the weeds, I need the earth to be softened, so I watered the carpets so it can seep through and when we get round to the next dig, the ground will be manageable. I did get some very strange looks. The onions are shooting little green shoots, which is very exciting, and our bird scarer thing with dangling CDs has disintegrated in the wind, so I will have to get stronger fishing line. The type you can use to haul in very large sharks should do the trick. Not that there are any sharks in middle England, you will be pleased to hear.

So it has been a quiet weekend, with time to fall asleep on my bed, reading. There was a time when I could read a book a day. Sigh. Those days are long gone.

The dark and light sides of my Fridays.

Fridays are my nemesis. I rose reluctantly in the morning, but all change by 3.10pm. Now I wonder why?????!

1. Mum to dentist early
2. Buy milk for staffroom.
3. Year 8s. I will say nothing.
4. Fix aging machines.
5. Break: lecture on scissor safety delivered by enraged me.
6. Fix aging machines.
7. Year 9s. I will say less than nothing.
8. Fix aging machines.
9. Year 10s. Give me strength.
10. Fix aging machines.
11. Break: supervise Year 11s on aging machines.
12. Discover MILK FINISHED. Restrain self from throwing self on floor.
13. Give up fixing aging machines.
14. Year 10s. I survived.
15. Lecture on the "importance" of doing each others hair during textile lessons.
16. Tidy department.
17. Do road runner impression heading to car. (Cartwheels optional.)

The weekend is here. YES!!!!! And I didn't have to cook, as we were out to dinner.

I hope you all have a lovely relaxing time.

Whirlwind weekend

Flopping in the rocking chair snoozing one weekend, and the next trying to go for a world record in activities. Sigh. When will I be of an age to think of balance and moderation? Never, I fear. But it has been a good weekend.

Murder mystery on Friday and zooming all over the place doing the errands I never got around to on Saturday, including having coffee at our monthly Traidcraft morning (and delicious walnut cake).

Then Saturday night was a dinner to celebrate our 150th bookclub meeting. 15 years, 1180 books, and still largely the same group of girls. Some have moved away, but essentially we have stayed together.

We drew up a short list of the books we have enjoyed the most over the years, and we voted on Saturday. There were 2 winners, and perhaps fittingly, one was an old one, and one was a relatively new one. Both are exceptional books for very different reasons.

The old one was Wild Swans - Jung Chang

The new one was Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

So if you haven't read them, this is an excellent reference! And we had a great time, with wonderful food, although the service was close to appalling. The older we get, the more these things are noticed!

Today, David and I set off north, to Briarfield in the hills of North Lancashire to see Geoff's sister, and to meet her son. Briarfield, an old mill town, is north of Manchester, and it took us 2 and a half hours to get there. We all went out to lunch at a local restaurant. Stephen has a form of autism, and was visiting his Mum today with his carers, so it was lovely to be there at the same time. So, after an afternoon catching up, looking at photos and visiting a friend, we drove back south. I am ready to flop again. Adventures, however brief, are exhausting!

Sleepy weekend, or why I have nothing worthy of note to relate....

I have had a number of comments this weekend about the lack of updates. Good grief. I must be the equivalent of the local newspaper. I would love, at this stage, to report that I have had a wild and wonderful weekend, but it was so quiet, watching grass grow would have been more exciting.

I think I have underestimated in a big way just how much I have drained my physical and emotional reserves in the past year. If I sit down for longer than a few minutes, I fall asleep, and that is what I have done most of the weekend, apart from venturing out briefly to get bread yesterday, and going to church and our monthly shared lunch today. Snoozing? I have got it down to a fine art. David actually woke me at 6.30 this evening asking plaintively if we were going to have any dinner today. Um, yes. Food. We do need food. I thought about it for a few minutes and was just drifting off again when my mother phoned and jolted me out of my nap. And this is the woman who never needs to sleep much. I am up late and awake early. I have never "napped" in my life, and have no desire to do so now. Just the body thinks otherwise. Sigh. And we have had beautiful weather too. Wasted on me, it was.

BUT

I can report that my house is a cobweb free zone at last. And I have finally managed to get the box with the Christmas tree out of my kitchen and back into the shed in the garden. We now have clean clothes and my hair is under control. Rivetting stuff, isn't it.

School was tough. Not easy to deal with the anger of the kids, who had no idea that their old teacher was leaving. No-one told them. That took the first part of every lesson to sort. Once we got going, it went well. I think. However, in one class, a group of girls refused to take any part in the lesson, so I ignored them, and got on with the others. A couple joined in when they saw what we were doing, but some did nothing. There is absolutely nothing anyone can do to make them listen if they won't. But that was just a small group. The rest of the classes were hectic. I seemed to be in perpetual motion. The kids were involved anyway, and busy. I have no idea how anyone would or could judge what it was like, but I think about 7/10 would be fair. It was not an unmitigated disaster. There were a few moments when I had serious doubts, but we got through that. And tomorrow is another day. I was talking to some of my teaching friends today at the shared lunch, and they think enthusiasm will go a long way. One offered me a job at an "easy"school! The teacher who left, by the way, is going back to America. She said she had never seen kids like this in all her teaching experience. The school I work at has an extraordinary number of special needs kids. I did say I like a challenge, didn't I? If I survive this, I can survive anything.

My laptop? Well, that is another story. Suffice to say that I have not got it yet. My excitement might have been a little premature. I live in hope. You know, teaching something like textile technology is not the same as teaching, say, Maths. In an academic class, the teacher stands in the front and teaches. In Textiles, I am controlling up to 25 kids moving about, working on 7 sewing machines, 4 computers, 2 embroidery machines, ironing, cutting out, printing designs on the sublimation printer, learning how to use pinking shears etc. All at the same time. I have to be everywhere all the time, especially when they can't re-thread the machines, or break a needle, or need help on the computer. The room rings to the sound of 20 odd voices yelling "MISS" "MISS" "MISS" all the time. (All teachers seem to be called Miss, by the way. Men are Sir. This is possibly because none of them ever remember a name, of course.) Anyone walking in would see chaos, but it is not really. Everyone knows what they are doing. Ah well, it will get easier. I hope. I still think that this is where I am supposed to be, and what I am supposed to be doing.

I did intend to write about something completely different, but my fingers ran away with themselves. And my brain is too tired to protest. So...... this will have to be the missive for today. I will be back tomorrow.