Sunday, July 01, 2007

Sleepless nights and consequences

Where has the weekend gone? The fact that I seem to have developed sleeping sickness could account for a large part, I suppose. This is not the medical condition, I hasten to add.... it is an exhaustion-related-not-sleeping-decision-making-condition, and results in the patient falling asleep whenever he/she sits down for 2 seconds. I have the Concert for Diana on in the background right now, and there are parts which have caused me to shut my eyes and wince. Therefore fall asleep. (Most parts are just fine, though!)

I digress.

Things of note:
  1. Car bombs diffused in London. Close to where my son works.
  2. Terrorist attack on Glasgow airport. Close to where Ros lives.
  3. Britain is now on critical level of alert.
  4. More rain.
  5. Princes' concert for their mother.
  6. Oh yes. I resigned.

That leap of faith? I took it. Interestingly, my daily readings last week were all about leaps of faith, and how we tend to want guarantees before we leap. Hmmm. I know that. But I think I have entered the "leap then think" phase of life. I had no choice really. The school is restructuring, and they offered me reduced teaching hours and more support hours and a very large drop in salary, and which ever way I looked at it, it didn't work.

Making the decision to leave my girls was devastating, and I developed a severe case of "hayfever" to disguise the tears in one of my classes. One of the girls said to me ... You will never leave us, Miss, will you? You love us. I looked over to the letter lying ready on my desk and just said...Sometimes things happen and we have no control over the outcome, sweetie. She looked at me and said... Everyone leaves. No-one cares. We are just the throwaway kids. It nearly broke my heart. But I also have a son of my own. I will be there till the end of this term.

And then? Who knows. But in all those leaps over the past year, I have learnt a lot. He doesn't break His promises.

The timing could have been better. This time last year....... we were about to get the news that Geoff needed another valve replacement. 6 days from now it will be a year.

10 comments:

PEA said...

(((Linds))) I can imagine how you're feeling right now. When we have to make a decision that not only affects our life but those of others, it's never easy. I know how much you'll miss the girls and feel like you're disappointing them but they'll be just fine after a while. I heard on the news about the scares going on in England and thought of all my friends living there...please stay safe!! xoxo

Linda said...

Oh Linds - I'm sure everything must seem more than a bit shakey to you right now. I think it does to all of us, but you have a lot these days. Thank God you and your family are all safe. I will be praying for all of you.
I'm praying too that the Lord will provide something very special for you. I'm excited to see where this great leap of faith will "land" you. God promises His plans are for our good. I know something good is about to happen.
Thankfully He is always the sure foundation under our feet.
Keeping you in my prayers.

Susie said...

Dear Linds,
You immediately came to mind when I read of the terrorist problems in London and Scotland. How frightening!
I know that had to be a hard decision you made to leave your job.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Try to get a bit of rest..
xoxo

Penless Thoughts said...

I've been thinking of you with this news out of London.

A leap of faith. Exactly the way God wants us to live. Trusting Him and hearing His voice!!!!! He will never leave us or forsake us. What promises we have of His care and love.

I am proud of you. I am sure just deciding has to relieve you a lot.
((hugs))
Susan

Kelli said...

Linds - we've been praying for all of you since these attacks started.

Change can be hard, especially when others are involved. When it came time to leave my job in November, it was so worried about my team. We had been together since the beginning and I wasn't happy about who was replacing me. But God will provide. He always does.

Hugs to you dear friend.

Crystal said...

((( HUGS ))), Linds! That's a big decision, especially when you think of the kids you work with. God is faithful in His guiding and He has a plan for you. Good for you to trust Him to take you where He wants you. I'll be following your journey, as I've left teaching for this year too. Glad to hear you are safe!

Dawn said...

The attacks are certainly scary. It can be anywhere any time.

I'm glad you made the decision. I know it was tough.

I hope you can get some GOOD sleep now. Blessings.

At A Hen's Pace said...

Linds--

Praying for peace for you in yet another transition. It will be a joy to watch how the Lord provides now!

I have something for YOU today...

Jeanne

Nameless Faceless Love said...

We so enjoy what you share here, Linds. We have heard about what's happening in London on the news and now heard about what's happening with you here on your blog. You'll be in our prayers.

God says he has reserved sweet sleep for his beloved children.

We pray that you enjoy that sweet sleep, Linds.

Blessings.......

meggie said...

Linds, I wish you well, & am sure you have made the right decision, for you.
(((0)))