Part of growing slightly older is the fact that one's arms shrink. So the art of reading is more challenging. Sigh. So I went and had my eyes tested and now own varifocals once again. The last time I had the eyes tested was in 2002. And yes, I got varifocals then too. Only they broke and Geoff tried to fix them with superglue, which unfortunately messed up the lenses, so they were binned.
And I never got round to replacing them for many reasons, but the chief one was the outrageous cost, given that 99p reading glasses worked just as well. I did upgrade to £5 reading glasses when I discovered they were infintely more robust. You can tell that I am not brilliant at spending money on myself. Something the people at Bath also noted and told me to improve. All very well, providing one has the cash in the first place.
Anyway, where was I....... I have just collected the varifocals, and they are great for reading, and for the computer, I concede. However, the distance part is not right, so I will have to take them back and get it checked out. Or revert to wearing them on the end of the nose.
And I stopped on the way out and looked at the makeup. Not the Christian Dior makeup which was used for the makeover.....did I tell you about that one?? I don't think I did......
I was told in Bath that I had to focus on me. And that I had to pamper myself. That I had to forget the world around me, and be kind to myself, and that I was the important person now. This may sound simple, but it is very difficult. I have been a mother for 32 years, and a fixer of other people, and I look outward, not inward. So they told me to "go on - get out there and buy some frilly underwear, and have a free makeover at the department store, and have my nails done, hair cut...." You get the picture. I had to go out and do something. Anything. (They also want a list of things I do for myself in the 3 months before I go back.)
So I went to BHS and bought some underwear. This was not a roaring success. The underwear I bought was too ordinary, not special enough. So I failed on that test. Hmmm. I thought it was fine.
So I popped in to the department store, and told the Christian Dior lady who looked incredibly classy and beautiful, that I had been told to come and ask for a makeover. That I was an "inmate" at the Min (the hospital) and that I needed to look stunning. She grinned and said she would do that with pleasure.
I was quite a challenge, people. I had spent 2 weeks in hydro, and you do not want to know what the hair looked like. Frizzy and dried out and I was wearing tracksuit pants and an old sweatshirt, had no makeup on, the highlights were long gone, and I had my stick. Stunning. Of course. Did I mention that the people in Bath seem very elegant? Well, I felt like a bag lady when I was out and about. I really did.
So there I sat and she put on the makeup. Did you know that you are supposed to put your liquid foundation/base on with a BRUSH??? Huh?? When did that happen?? Anyway, she did a wonderful job. She asked me if I used a serum. Um, no. Oops. I thought that was for snakebite. And a special eye cream day and night?? Ummmmm.....no. She sighed. So did I. And when I was "done", I asked how much the serum cost. I need help here because right now I look 110 years old - wrinkled and prune-like. £97.00. Well, maybe not. And the magical foundation? £58. Nnnnnno. Perhaps that can wait. I ended up buying a lipstick. And because she was so sweet, and perhaps because I said that she really had made me feel very special, she got out a bag and tossed in a whole lot of samples, including a mini eye palette.
And I hobbled back to the hospital, and they were all waiting for me. I passed that test. The makeover was a success. My shopping trip for makeup was a fail. The new lipstick did not cut it.
So back to today. I was in Boots, and I stopped to look at the makeup, and I remembered that the lady in Bath had said I need to put on eye shadow with the stubby short-bristled eyebrow brush. A brush I never knew existed. Well, I found one today, so tick the box..... I did something nice for me. Myself. Now I have to learn how to use it the way she did. But at least I now have glasses to hide any disasters. Or do they magnify them?? Anyway, I have the brush. They also had a foundation-putter-on-brush-thingy too, but that was over £20 which seems totally ridiculous, so we will continue with the fingers as usual.
I will never look stunning, but hey, I have a new eye brush,lipstick, glasses, and BHS underwear so far. And don't forget the hair - that is cut and coloured.
Heaven knows what will be next....