Sunday, February 13, 2011

My daughter is celebrating her birthday......

Some nights, if I go into the garden, I hear the hum which I have come to regard as normal. The sound of cars whizzing by in the distance, the sound of doors slamming, planes flying overhead, voices.

And then there are times when I walk into the garden and there is a silence so profound it actually makes you stop in your tracks, so not even the sound of your feet break it. The silence. Last night was a night like that. The stars were as bright as diamonds scattered on a velvet throw. And that silence. Wow.

Now I try to look for it at night. I wonder if I stay up a little longer, will I catch it? Sometimes I do and sometimes it never happens.

Last night, I looked.

I had been talking to my daughter because it was already her birthday in New Zealand, and I was not there. I was here. But I went to look into the sky for a different reason. We live under the flight path, I think. Planes take off from Heathrow and fly north over the pole to America, and then on to New Zealand. I can always see planes at this time. Always. And surely one is going to NZ? I like to think so and I look at the tiny lights up there in the sky, and I think of those exact same lights flickering over the airport in Auckland as they touch down in 24 hours. Closer to where my daughter is.

Imagination is a wonderful thing.

Telephones are too.

It sounds just as though she is in the same village when I speak to her. I forget she is hot and in the middle of summer while we are freezing in winter. I forget she is waking up as we are winding down for the day. I forget the thousands and thousands of miles when I talk to her.

We talk of ordinary things. Of family and friends, and how to work phones. Of cars and plans and things which make us laugh. Of illness and crises and oh....just ordinary stuff.

30 years ago, my little baby girl was handed to me seconds after she was born. So tiny and so beautiful. I never knew what any of my children would be. Boys or girls. I just knew that they were my babies and I loved them. So each was a beautiful surprise for us. It never mattered in the slightest to either of us.

And now look at her - 30 years old. Full of life and love and far away. Living - really living her life to the full. But I am her Mum and I am allowed to miss her, even though I raised her to fly.

Happy Birthday, my Diana. I think I will go and watch for planes in the sky for a while again. I love you very much.


Crystal said...

Happy, Happy Birthday, Diana!

So amazing to me that we have daughters who are one week apart in birthdays! Melinda turned 31 and our Naomi will be 30 in June so Diana is right in the middle. I know how much you are missing her, I know about the time change and I know about the beauty of phone calls. The wings and roots saying always come to my mind on their birthdays. Take care!

Midlife Mom said...

Happy Birthday to your dear daughter Diana!! Do you ever Skype? Did I spell that right, my computer is saying that I didn't but maybe it's newer then my computer. Wonderful that you can talk and have it sound like you are just two blocks away from each other when in actuality it's many miles. Your family sure has crossed the continents many times! An adventurous lot I must say!! Wonderful to be able to do that. I have lived here in Maine my whole life and would scream bloody murder if the Hubs said we were moving 2000 miles away. I guess I am a wimp, but maybe it's contentment. Hummmm...this might make a good post! ha!

Dawn said...

Once again I remember that Kev and Diana share a birthday - he's enjoying his right now with his wife, which hasn't happened often in the last 5 years.

When he was in Africa, I used to look at the moon and realize the same moon was shining down on them - though not at the same time.

I often think of my aunts and uncles who went to Africa as missionaries decades ago and how long it took to get a letter to or from them, and how much better it is now!

Kelli said...

Such a beautiful post. I am At that stage where my kids are leaving in a year or so, and I try to do everything to talk them into staying here. Near me. I remember the wanderlust I had at that age, having been to Europe already and wanting to go. Anywhere.

And they have that. And I love it for them, hate it for me.

Happy birthday, Diana. May this year be an amazing one for you. We love you, because we love your mum.

Vee said...

This can not be an easy thing. My daughter popped in today leaving behind a craft project she had made for me for Valentine's Day and I never gave it a thought. I will start. I promise. Giving it a thought. Hope that Diana had the happiest of days. Ahhh, to be 30 again...

Linda said...

Happy Birthday to your dear girl Linds.
I am taking careful note. Our girl will be thousands of miles away all too soon (is in Paris for a visit right now in fact). You love well.

Donnetta said...

That silence you speak of, I am able to experience that here at rare times too. Nothing like it and I cherish the moments it comes...

Happy Birthday to your Diana! May you both find blessing upon blessing in your day today, even though you can't be together in person!

Angie said...

So beautiful.