I am not even going to apologise for being gone for a week. In fact, I may just write this for me alone.
In a week where there has been a run of every emotion in the book, it is OK, Linds, to step away. And sit and do nothing except process life in your mind as it unfolds. All the small things and all the huge mega things. All the things which make you want to wail and shed many a tear, and all the things which require your mind to be fully operational so you can make good decisions, with massive ramifications if they are wrong. It is OK to walk past the silent blank computer screen and not even hesitate.
It is OK to forget stats and the daily minutiae as well, and it is also OK that there was Mothering Sunday in the midst of all this too. It was wonderful to have Diana home for the first time in possibly more than a decade, wasn't it?
The coffee and tulips and card and chocolates, followed by the breakfast in bed, going to church together and doing coffee duty with her? It was a lovely mother- daughter time, and you really loved it, remember. And your two sons remembered the day too - it was wonderful!
On one level.
And on another level, battling with the mother-urge to fix things unfixable, looking for answers where there are none to be seen.
You did pick up the not-sure-about crocheted blanket project and do a little work on it, didn't you? You did make it to at least one aqua class. You did manage to get your car fixed and past its MOT without tears and disaster and financial ruin. Remember the good things, girl. And also, you did remember to be thankful. There is always something to be thankful for. Many things. Always.
Remember how much fun you had with Jean doing the coffee duty baking? That was good. And it all got eaten as well. That is a good sign.
You had enough. You survived another week.
David loves his studies
He is doing so well
Mum likes her new dentist
Her treatment is going to be excellent and spaced out
The chariot goes beautifully
The tulips add so much colour to the room
The daffodils are flowering
The bunch you bought for Mum will start flowering soon (hopefully)
There is enough food in the house
The new freezer is cleaned and operational and in place
The chocolates from Diana are nearly history
Chocolates are good
You have books to read
Mum has enough wool to make her next (millionth) blanket for the homeless
The coffee is hot
Diana is on her way to Andrew and Ann for a few days
It may be freezing outside but the inside is warm. Sort of. Warm enough in the sun. The snow is due any time now.
Spring will soon be here
and there are so many more things, remember......
Ah well. Time for a nap.