Monday, March 11, 2013

A letter to me........

I am not even going to apologise for being gone for a week. In fact, I may just write this for me alone.

010

In a week where there has been a run of every emotion in the book, it is OK, Linds, to step away. And sit and do nothing except process life in your mind as it unfolds. All the small things and all the huge mega things. All the things which make you want to wail and shed many a tear, and all the things which require your mind to be fully operational so you can make good decisions, with massive ramifications if they are wrong. It is OK to walk past the silent blank computer screen and not even hesitate.

001

It is OK to forget stats and the daily minutiae as well, and it is also OK that there was Mothering Sunday in the midst of all this too. It was wonderful to have Diana home for the first time in possibly more than a decade, wasn't it?

034

  The coffee and tulips and card and chocolates, followed by the breakfast in bed, going to church together and doing coffee duty with her? It was a lovely mother- daughter time, and you really loved it, remember. And your two sons remembered the day too - it was wonderful!

On one level.

And on another level, battling with the mother-urge to fix things unfixable, looking for answers where there are none to be seen.

005

You did pick up the not-sure-about crocheted blanket project and do a little work on it, didn't you? You did make it to at least one aqua class. You did manage to get your car fixed and past its MOT without tears and disaster and financial ruin.  Remember the good things, girl. And also, you did remember to be thankful. There is always something to be thankful for. Many things. Always.

030

Remember how much fun you had with Jean doing the coffee duty baking? That was good. And it all got eaten as well. That is a good sign.

You had enough. You survived another week.

So what if the pain levels peaked at new highs. So what if you don't move very well. You are a) still moving, and b) you have perfected breathing. David is loving his course. That is a wonderful plus and reason for much joy. Let's just focus on the joy part for a minute then.....


David loves his studies
He is doing so well
Mum likes her new dentist 
Her treatment is going to be excellent and spaced out
The chariot goes beautifully
The tulips add so much colour to the room
The daffodils are flowering
The bunch you bought for Mum will start flowering soon (hopefully)
There is enough food in the house
The new freezer is cleaned and operational and in place
The chocolates from Diana are nearly history
Chocolates are good
You have books to read
Mum has enough wool to make her next (millionth) blanket for the homeless
The coffee is hot
Diana is on her way to Andrew and Ann for a few days
It may be freezing outside but the inside is warm. Sort of. Warm enough in the sun. The snow is due any time now.
Spring will soon be here
and there are so many more things, remember......

Ah well. Time for a nap.

037

There is always tomorrow..................

12 comments:

Chris said...

May your pain be lessened knowing you have many friends to share it with you.

Warm hugs!

Anne said...


Of course there is no need to apologise, you do what you need to do.

Thanks for coming back, it was lovely to hear from you!

Vee said...

Your transparency humbles me. Counting the blessings and naming them one by one seems to be a good plan...I should do it, too.

Susan said...

Bless you Linds and happy belated Mums day. It is good to see you here, but of course you need time for YOU, and especially to enjoy this special time with your daughter.

Isabelle said...

I hope things aren't too serious - and thank you for reminding us of the blessings of life.

Kelli said...

I wish beyond anything, I could just come and curl up on the sofa with you and hug you until it all just goes away.

Stripeyspots said...

I wish there was a way that I could help you carry this burden. Thinking of you all the time.

MotherT said...

I've been praying for you. Everytime I check your blog and there's not a new post, I pray. It was good to read your list of blessings!

Tigger said...

Apologies not needed ! Sounds like it was one of those weeks where life is trying to run you over rather than running away with you.....good on you for remembering the positives.
Sending good vibes & bounces for you to use as suits best :0 )

Tigger said...

Apologies not needed ! Sounds like it was one of those weeks where life is trying to run you over rather than running away with you.....good on you for remembering the positives.
Sending good vibes & bounces for you to use as suits best :0 )

Olson Family said...

The pictures are beautiful as is the spirit with which you write. Saying a little prayer that God's perfect peace will be with you and the pain will subside.

Debbie said...

Thanks for the reminder to count our blessings. We have so much to be thankful for!!

I pray God's comfort will be very real for all of you. Hugs from across the "pond."