Thursday, August 28, 2008

The day after....

So.

I fell asleep on the couch at 7 last night. I was beyond shattered. Did Dell call??? What do you think? That would be right. They didn't.

I have called to make an appointment to see my GP today, and she is on holiday. The first appointment available is the 15th Sept. So I am seeing a locum, who appears to be Greek, this morning. Sigh.

You know, I sat there thinking in the waiting area at the hospital yesterday, holding a beeper in my hand, waiting for it to beep to tell me that "Wake Up! You are next!". (I hate the de-humanising of the medical services with a passion - all those nurses leaning on the desk chatting and laughing for the entire time I was waiting could easily have walked to the door and called me by name.) I thought about how I didn't want to be there. How I could pack up and depart without hesitation. How I was disillusioned and weary. How I, with all my verbal ability, intellect and daring, still couldn't get anything done. How enough was enough. I don't think I have ever been in such despairing place in my life.

Sure, it is the combination of a few years of "stuff" which has happened in my life. Teachers notoriously manage to make it through a term, and as soon as the holidays arrive, they get sick. In a sense, I am in the same situation. I have done what I set out to do. I have made it through David's schooling - holding everything together and keeping everything steady for him, and now he has finished, the walls are crumbling. A bit. His future now is not up to me. It is up to him. He will fly.

It has not been easy, you know. It has been diabolically difficult, if I am absolutely honest. Too hard at times. But I have got this far, doing what I had to do. And now I am sitting here, just as I was yesterday, in that waiting area, thinking - what now? What do I do now? I am tired of being a warrior. I am just tired. Full stop.

Later....

It is now evening and I am cooking as I write. No call from Dell. Useless visit to the doctor. Rest on the couch. Made apple sauce with some apples from the tree. Had calls from friends. Did I mention no call from Dell? I have emailed their customer services. Tomorrow their chief exec will get a letter from me detailing my ire. With a note saying the letter is to be published on the internet too.

And then my friend, Glynis arrived at the door, with a bag of things to cheer me up. She bought me a magazine, chocs, wine and fancy food bits as a treat to make up for the lousy day I had yesterday. What a wonderful surpirse. I was so thrilled.

And that has been the day. I am tired. Still.

14 comments:

Diane@Diane's Place said...

With all you've been through and are still dealing with, it would be difficult NOT to be discouraged. All you can do is deal with each thing individually, Linds, otherwise it IS overwhelming.

Sorry you're having such a bad patch, and I'll be praying for you and your situation.

Take heart, tomorrow is a new, and hopefully, better day.

Love, hugs and prayers,

Diane

Anonymous said...

BONSOIR LINDS
TOUS LES SOIRS JE LIS VOS PAGES (je me sers de translate car je ne lis pas bien l anglais)ALORS DEVANT TANT DE FATIGUE JE VOUS SOUHAITE BEAUCOUP DE COURAGE
ALLEZ DEMAIN SERA UN MEILLEUR JOUR
NE PERDEZ PAS ESPOIR
JE PENSE A VOUS ET VOUS ADRESSE TOUS MES SOUHAITS

JE VOUS SOUHAITE UNE BELLE SOIREE
A TRES BIENTOT
MARIE CLAUDE

Linda said...

Linds,
I tend to want to make everything better by saying (or writing,as the case may be) something brilliant and wise. I don't have words - other than to say I've been there too. I am praying for you. And....good friends are just priceless!

Luanne said...

What a wonderful blessing God sends us in the way of a friend when we are at our wits end.

Luanne

PEA said...

My goodness, Linds, it truly makes one wonder how much a person can take! You poor thing, you!!! I can't even imagine how beyond frustrated you are...I just hope and pray for you that your days will start to get better and that you'll finally get the answers you need. As for Dell....give 'em hell! lol xoxo

Isabelle said...

Oh dear, poor you. My sympathetic thoughts are with you. There there. What a lot of bad stuff you've had. Hope you're currently having a nice peaceful sleep, knitting up (at least a bit) the ravelled sleeve and so on. And that tomorrow will be better.

Chris said...

BAH! HUMBUG!

The past couple of days have sucked eggs, my friend. You deserve to wallow in it, feel sorry for yourself, cry it out, throw something breakable, scream a bit (at Dell), and have a generally huge tantrum.

So what are you waiting for??? Get on with it!!!

Owlhaven said...

Hang in there Linds...hope that at least Dell will get their act together for ya....
Hugs

Mary

Butterfly Mama said...

I should ask Adam to call Dell for you, he always raves about their great service. Obviously he's never experienced what you are!

Sending you virtual hugs...
Heidi

Crystal said...

You are so right about your analogy to teachers and the holidays. You really have had alot on your plate/couch/mind these past weeks. I wish I could pop by with some blueberry muffins, hot tea (with Amaretto liquer, perhaps!), some chocolate truffles and many hugs. Please know that I continue to pray for you daily and wish I could deliver these ((( HUGS ))) in person.

Mary said...

Just figured out why I could not get to your comments -- I had your page open three times - oops! Just goes to show you how keen I am to read your posts.

Mary said...

Either that or I am slipping into dementia quicker than I realized.

Needled Mom said...

Thank heavens for friends who know what to do when times are dire.

I am not surprised that you received no call from De*ll. It is typical of them.

The medical situation continues to boggle my mind. Job etiquette is sorely lacking in the work fields these days.

I pray for a better weekend for you. Wish I could come help, but know you will be on my mind. xox

Vee ~ A Haven for Vee said...

Have just been catching up with you and the whole Dell from *ell story. I am so sorry that they haven't called, but not in the least surprised. It will take a letter writing campaign I am certain. Do you Brits have something equal to the Better Business Bureau? Any sort of consumer protection program?

I do think that speaking out about this is a good thing.

Linds, it seems as if you could use another holiday in Switzerland...lying on a sofa looking at the mountains would be a lovely tonic.

Nil Desperandum, my friend!