You know, not 10 seconds ago, I had 3 great ideas for posts. They are gone. The moment I hit the "new post" button, my brain takes that as a message to "delete all contents". Immediately. I do not lie. I was even going to write all 3 and line them up ready to post in the days to come. Maybe I should write about diminishing memory capacity here instead.
Are you like me? I read wonderful posts, with quotes littered all over the place, and I think, oh yes, I remember that one.... and I really do, but until I read it today, it is lost in the backwaters of my mind. I read it, savour it once again, and 5 minutes later?? Vanished. Bible verses are exactly the same. I can manage the first verse of Genesis and Psalm 23. There was a time once, when I could even identify the author of a well know quote. When I used to know poems by heart. Great hunks of Shakespeare. Useful stuff. Now I keep my mouth shut.
It is not as though my mind is idle. It whizzes all over the place, wrestles with its own demons, dances through memories, solves complex calculations, creates beautiful pictures, whirls through dreams, absorbs millions of written words. It thinks. It works. It does all that. But how much more has it forgotten?? It functions in every way it has to function, and as a mother, it is required to function in 29,502,387,537,363 ways at the same time at warp speed. It can do that. And I made up that number. You know what I mean. But can I remember the names of my friends' children? Hahahaha. I now call everyone "sweetie". It works for me. And I don't appear totally brain dead.
Quotes are in the same category as names. Shopping lists are there too. Important dates as well. Appointments. Thank heavens for a phone which beeps to remind me of these things. And my mother - see below. Music is another thing. I used to recognise classical music - and modern for that matter - instantly. Now I can say if I remember the song, but the person singing or the composer? Pah. Gone. The words? Unless I am singing loudly, they are also things fading away into the mists of time. Does this matter? Probably not, I agree. But it is so frustrating to admit that my memory is filing so much stuff in the "irrelevant" file. I want to decide what is relevant. That would be everything, of course.
Ironically, my memories of my childhhood and youth, or the years from about 3-25 are crystal clear. After that, it sems to all get jumbled up. I have even been known to call my own children "Andrew, Diana, David - whoever you are.....". Please tell me I am not the only one. Heaven help me if had had more children. Maybe glasses would have helped.
And the most frustrating thing of all is that my 82 year old mother has a memory as clear as daylight and as sharp as a razor. She remembers EVERYTHING. Genes are not all they are cracked up to be. Or it could be all the crossword puzzles she whizzes through. Do not ever offer to play scrabble with her either.
Maybe I should occupy all the time I seem to have by reading a thesaurus. And if anyone knows how to get rid of the memory eater, please feel free to let me know.
Mind you - I am a star when it comes to nursery rhymes. I can remember them all. I am a genius after all. It is the small things which count, people........