Saturday, February 21, 2009

Lost days.....

Yesterday was a lost day. In fact this morning was also a lost morning. Yesterday I crawled out of bed at 12 noon, and this morning, I only woke at 10am. So you could say I have lost 1 and a half days. My leg still feels weird, but as I have no idea what it is supposed to feel like, I am assuming weird is normal. But the exhaustion.....that is another matter. That local anaesthetic knocked me for 6.

And after the high of the Bump's birth on Tuesday, the rest of the week has been decidedly foul. Can Grannies get post natal depression? I do believe I may have a bout going on here. Apparently the new parents are getting very little, if any, sleep. I am going to go and help out for a couple of nights soon, so they can rest. They wanted to do it all themselves, but realised after the first few hours, that that would be rather ridiculous. I remember the feeling well.

I read a few newish blogs (to me) yesterday, and was struck by something someone said - referring to blog traffic. She said she used to only get about 100 hits a day and few comments, and then things took off into the 1000s. Well, I am sitting here, and seeing my stats with a slightly amused eye - I get anything from 50 (when I write nothing at all) to about 290 odd people on this site a day. And I am absolutely fine with that. It is not a failure, you see, because I do not write for fame or recognition, or stats. However, I was a little galled to have 100 hits described as nothing. I also read during Blissdom 09, that anyone who had 100 followers on Twitter, and 100 hits a day on the blog, had a community. I loved that. This is my little community and I am part of yours. And to be quite honest, I do not give a monkeys what the stat counter says, which is why I have several unopened weekly emails with my traffic reports in my inbox. 100 hits a day is not NOTHING. It is just perfect. I am comfortable with that.

I think the slightly put out feeling I had is all part of that slump I was talking about. The rollercoaster thing. You know when you have days where everything people say seems barbed and everyone you love seems to be having a rough time, and you just want to crawl inside a hole and hide?? Yes. Well. I have been in that hole. And then add the discombobulation and the pain and stir well, and you have a very merry me. Not.

So today, I am slowly popping the head out of the hole and am looking around to see what arrows and stones are poised to come my way, and I may consider emerging soon. I remember coming home after the hospital and standing at my front door on Thursday looking at my bunch of keys, which had suddenly grown from 12 to 120 and trying to fit the right one in the door. It took me quite a while. And life feels like that at the moment. Too many keys and only one will fit in the door.

I do realise that this will make less than no sense to you lovely people. Put it down to "Linds is too weary to make sense".
  • The trees are now gone from my back border. They will plant new ones, but it is light and rather open at the moment.
  • And I found the instructions for my camera in English today and have printed off 52 pages to read. One day.
  • I have eaten 2 hotcross buns (remember, Jeana???)
  • and have found the papers to road tax my car.
  • I should be at a 70's party tonight, but my leg and I will stay home and bond instead and watch CSI.
  • The sun has been shining.
  • And that is all.
  • Normal Linds may be back tomorrow........


Sandra said...

I sure hope you get out of that slump soon.

As for the blogging comments thing, I feel the same way. I love my little group of readers and I honestly don't know what I would do if I had 100's stopping by and leaving comments, I mean, I surely don't have time to reply to them all. LOL

Have a wonderful day Linds, I'm thinking of you :)


Dawn said...

You poor kid! Makes our bout with the flu seem a bit less horrid - though it was pretty much a terrible week.

As for stats counters - when you go private, you are left with the community you have established and get no new ones, unless you ask for a new reader - which can be kind of hard to do. I'm thankful for my good friends who come and visit in spite of it not being handy!

I hope the fog lifts, the pain subsides, and the sun stays out!

Musings of a Housewife said...

I was going to respond to your comment to my blog with the stat from Blissdom but I see that you saw that already.

I go days without looking at stats. They are interesting, and marketing peeps are determined to have them, but they really are not a determiner of one's success as a blogger (or a person). It's a shame that we are made to feel that way sometimes.

Dawn said...

Me again - I was wondering when you might have a chance to see the little Sweet Pea again, and if you'll get to stay awhile. I know you have lots of appointments for "your" leg!

How far are you from them? I'm glad they realize their need for a bit of assistance - independence at these times can be indeed carried too far! They haven't a clue, have they, before the babe arrives?? How far are her parents?

Well, lots of questions.

lakeviewer said...

You needed the rest, all right. But, we are glad you're back pondering with us all. Take care of yourself.

Isabelle said...

You need to see that little bundle again and that'll give you a lift.

Laurie in Ca. said...

Oh Linds,

Big Grandma Hugs to you sweetie, yes it can be a let down of sorts after the high and it's normal, truly. But I think your "special leg" is playing a big part of this too and we NEED Spring to come, and sunshine. Sometimes I am disappointed when I see only two or three people have visited my blog and then I realize that it would drive me crazy to have hundreds and not be able to keep in touch. I love the girls I have who visit regularly. Quality is better than Quantity for me:) I think you need a good dose of "Girlie Bump" to lift your spirits. I have all the same questions Dawn has asked so I won't repeat them. (Thanks Dawn:)
Go with the flow my friend, and cry if you feel like it. You have lots going on and taking care of you is most important right now. I'll be praying for you too sweetie.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Susan said...

Sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. Hope things look up soon.

Vee said...

It's been another rollercoaster week for you. It's normal to feel a bit "off" I'm certain. I feel "off" for a lot less.

I'm so glad that the new parents have seen the light and know how good it is to have the older generation's help. That's what it's all about. All this reminds me that it's high time for a Nonni day for me, too. I'm sure that my son and daughter-in-law would enjoy some free time.

Oh, and I so know what you mean about this community connection. I can feel down right along with someone having a challenging time. Really, I need to remember that there's nothing more that I can do than to support in prayer. But somehow I feel as if I should be able to do more, say more, be more. Sigh. Enough introspection for today.

Later, Linds. Enjoy a very relaxing evening.

Linda said...

I understand perfectly what you're saying Linds. I just feel badly that you're going through that right now. Perhaps time spent with that new little sweetheart will help get you going again.
As for blog traffic....if I get more than 100 hits a WEEK that's doing well. At one time it meant so much...I'm trying to rise above that. Sometimes it's hard to get past that "high school mentality". However, it's high time I did (just a little play on words there...).
Praying things begin to look a bit brighter very soon Linds.

Judith said...

Dear friend Linds, It sounds like you are exactly on schedule about everything, especially that knee. You've been on a physical and psycological unchosen ride, even before the injury, when the struggle of whether to stay in a job that was dragging you down confronted you almost daily.

Considering all you've dealt with, and still have to, I would say you've more than earned the right to feel anyway that surfaces, including post partum knee blues.

To heck with always being the strong one. A good cry might do you more good than all that torture the medical people keep dreaming up.

All of what you're dealing with has to drain your usual high level of energy. Something I've had trouble accepting while my leg trouble continues, is letting family and friends help, and do things for me.

Why wouldn't you feel pretty worn down. This has already been a too long ride. Please indulge yourself, and enjoy all the good things, your loving friends bring, and that includes an extra scone or two, and chocolate. or whatever flavor you like.

Maybe it's alright to question some of what may be experimental treatment and therapy.

My prayers for you are the old fashioned kind, straight from earth
to Heaven.

Barb said...

I finally got over here to see if that sweet baby had arrived Linds, and she has. She's absolutely gorgeous - congratulations to all of you!

The thing they're doing to your poor leg sounds really weird to me. I've never heard of pushing all the blood out and it sounds truly painful.

You look good in the photos with the baby. Happy. Becoming a grandmother obviously suits you.

I'm very happy for all of you, especially you. You're going to have so much fun with that baby.

Diane@Diane's Place said...

Apparently your body needed the sleep and rest to heal itself, so it took over. Glad you're beginning to feel a bit more like yourself.

I have a stat counter but I rarely look at it anymore. Sounds like I have about the same number of visitors as you, more or less. Whatever you call it, I love my bloggy friends. :o)

Hope your Sunday is blessed and your leg is much improved.

Love and hugs,


Morning Glory said...

It sounds to me like the natural letdown that follows an extreme high point. I've experienced that more than once. I think our adrenaline runs out and we collapse.

I think you should curl up with a good book, a pot of coffee and blanket, and then just take it easy. Oh, and put on some soothing music.

Mary said...

I'm feeling your pain and frustration. Wish there was something more I could do to support you. I am thinking of you heaps and putting lots of little prayers up for you.

Needled Mom said...

I am fairly certain that the leg situation is causing the cloud that you are feeling. I am sure most of us would be in the same spot if we were experiencing what you have endured this week.

Seeing that little grandbaby again will help lift the blues and it will be wonderful to know that you are helping them along the way.

Hope this week will be better for you. Hugs.

Olson Family said...

I'm just catching up from the last week. First, I hope you are feeling better soon! Second - Congratulations! The picture's of Bump are wonderful - she is a beautiful baby. Enjoy!

Janine said...

I am proud to be one of the 290 "odd" people who read your blog!

Anonymous said...

I hope you are feeling better, I'll say some prayers for you.


I too could really not care about traffic, I write because I have a need to share, to document, to realize. It is my thoughts, my loves, my frustrations, my fears and my faith. It is not about making money or glory or popularity.

Karen said...

What a beautiful bump!

And I do read your blog--even if I get to it only once a week. I wonder if Bloglines readers get tracked by your counter thingy.

I do hope the knee behaves and lets you get around to help look after the wee one.