11. The ability to write here.
The question has to be though, what do I write, and why. There is a great deal of power attached to the written word, and the responsibility here at RCR is mine. Do I write for my own pleasure? Or do I write to communicate with you, who come over to read. Do I share just the triumphs? Or do I expose the trials and failures, and pain? What? Why? How?
Ann is a blogging friend with a wonderful heart, and a way of making me stop in my tracks and think seriously about what I write and why. If you haven't met her before, please go and read her post on writing. It is still swirling around in my mind many hours after first reading it. I know some of my blogging friends are feeling the same. Powerful just does not begin to describe it.
I am eternally grateful for all the wonderful friends I have made here. It is a delight for me, and a feeling of being in a family scattered all over the world. I love being here. Who knew, when I started tentatively all those years ago, that I would find myself bound together with women from so many countries and cultures - and some men too - all through the little words my fingers are putting up on the screen here. Amazing.
It feels good to be here. It feels right. But each of us has to decide exactly how we use this medium. None of us is perfect. We all yell and have days when we just can't cope with any more, and I keep thinking of Ann's duck story, and how I nearly wept when I read it. The meaning is so incredibly profound and moving, and I think of all the times I could have done things differently, and then I get a huge lump in my throat, and wonder why I didn't know........
Ah.... (deep breath)........
Just so you know, like each of your lives, mine is full of difficult things. I am not floating along here in a fuzzy pink haze of perfection. I have been facing more challenges than I ever thought possible to endure that I have not talked about. Yet I survive. And what Ann talks about is how just actually sharing the reality of the difficult times could actually help someone else. Perhaps. I need to think about that.
Between us all, there has to be the full gamut of catastrophes and nightmares. But we still wake every morning, don't we. We keep plodding on. I know there are days when I happen to read a random post somewhere which seems to be written just for me. And it helps. Yet so often I can't even post a comment to say thank you. So whoever wrote that something which touched me, may never know how much it meant to me.
And so I know that there must be people out there who feel the same about some things I may say, and yet I don't know.
I am so thankful that I started blogging. I am so thankful that I met you all. I am so thankful that I am being challenged to give more, be more, do more...... I am learning as I go. I am so thankful that together we have become a body which helps each other in times of need. I am in awe of how many children around the world have been sponsored just because of this blogging community. Lives are being changed, and all because we all started writing. And speaking of writing, tomorrow is the second Friday of the month, and all Compassion sponsors are being urged to make this the day we all write to our children. So if you have a sponsored child, please consider writing to him or her tomorrow, and join the hundreds of others doing so!
I am so thankful that each of us had the courage to start writing. And most of all, I am so thankful for each and every one of you who is reading this. You are friends.