Yesterday, My new(ish) blogging friend from Switzerland, Helen, wrote the most beautiful post. You can go here to read it. An ordinary life.
I could have written almost exactly the same words. In fact, some I have already written, I suspect. It made me pause when I read it, and whisper to myself - yes - me too. I feel just as she feels about being ordinary.
And one day, if that is all that is remembered of me outside my family, then so be it. You see, I know. I know that my life is right for me. For my family. And I too am not hankering after castles in my dreams. Any longer. Of course I had grandiose dreams when I was young. When I was a child, those dreams knew no limits, and that is the way childhood should be. The world was waiting, after all.....
Then I grew up along the way.
And so the dreams changed. My life changed with each decision I made. My choices led to other choices, and those in turn led me to where I am now and who I am today.
I am an ordinary woman. I am a mother and a friend. A daughter and a sister. Once, I was a wife, although it is 1665 days since Geoff died. (I can't believe so many days have passed.)
1665. how can that be possible?
I love my children, and I love my daughter-in-law and my granddaughter. I love my Mum and my sister, and my brother-in-law. They are all the centre of my world. I put being a Mum up there as my greatest achievement. I have not done a lot of things, but I have been a mother who stayed at home (for the most part) and delighted in raising my kids, and would not change that for a nanosecond.
I love my home, and being able to create a space people are welcomed and happy to visit. I love having a myriad of hobbies and interests and I am so glad I turned away from the dreams of corporate success and chose instead to stay at home.
I love sewing and crocheting, and trying new things. I love woodwork and flowers and gardening and growing my own vegetables. I love going for walks, especially in the mountains. I love my church and I love my friends. My world is very colourful.
There are no headlines here, you see. Just an ordinary woman who loves blogging. Who has words tripping over each other as she tries to write what she feels in her heart. Of her ordinary life.
But never confuse "ordinary" with "boring". Oh no. Comfortable. Normal. Unspectacular. All words Helen used. It does not take much to keep me happy, you see. (Note I said "keep" - not "make"!) Even though my children - my family - are scattered about the world, I still have skype and phones and messenger and facebook. One day, plane tickets may be added to the list too, of course!
I am 56, and I can page through the piles of photos taken over 56 years and trigger so much laughter and so many memories. You have NO IDEA how many photos you can amass over 56 years. Thank heavens that this century, all my photos are on the computer (and a few external whatsits too, of course.) I have video/DVDs of my babies when they were so small.
Recently, I happened to open the cupboards containing the stash of fabric, and I saw a pillow case of Maya the Bee fabric I had kept from when my children were little, and instantly, I heard the theme tune, being sung by little kids in my mind. My little kids.
Would I trade? No. Not a chance.
So I will go back to my blanket stitching, delighting in the fact that I know how to do it, and carry on creating something beautiful. The crockpot is bubbling with a sausage creation in it. Jean is coming to supper. The recession heater is on my lap.
All the paths and detours and roundabouts of my life have lead me here. To this place right now, and I too am content. Unremarkable. Ordinary. I am so very lucky to be here, and to have been able to be at home.
I love being me right now.
(ignoring all the challenges and stuff we all have going on in our lives, because that is what happens anyway, it is called life...)
I am content.