Friday, January 14, 2011

Friday and all is quiet on the home front.......

A week of contrasts here..... from the heights of hilarity, shrieks of laughter, and celebrating a friend's birthday to visiting my friend battling through the last couple of chemo treatments, and to the funeral of another friend. This has been a week of extremes.

Highs and lows. The pendulum swings. The rhythm of life.......

Extremes are never easy to deal with, are they. There are times when I am simply exhausted by the changes, and then I stop and think about how incredibly lucky/blessed I am to be up and moving (ok, a little slowly, but moving nonetheless).

The red and white bunting is almost made. I just have to iron the bias binding and then attach it, and then I had idea for pastel shades for Easter but that can wait, and while I try to stay awake long enough to watch a tv programme in the evenings, I am crocheting a scarf. This will probably be for next winter at this rate, because I do half a row and wake up, crochet hook poised in my hand, 3 hours later. I sometimes think of how once upon a time, that bunting would have been made in an hour or so and how a scarf would have taken a couple of days and then I grin and think, so what. Who said I had to churn out stuff in torrents. I can take my time. Now, if only taking my time was a CHOICE instead of inevitable, all would be peachy.

My world is becoming quieter. I am learning.

And as this week has alternately hurtled and chugged to an end, there has been time to read a few pages. Time to make homemade soup today. Time to chat to friends, both in person and on the phone. Time to think.

I also decided to sing again with our local music society. Over 100 singers turned up for registration this week to sing Songs from the Shows at concerts in March. We are singing songs from Les Mis, Lion King, Blood Brothers, Cabaret and West Side Story, and I will have to take a box of tissues with me, because I howl through Les Mis whenever I hear the music. It will be good to sing again. I last sang the spring before Geoff died. It is time.

And it is also a declaration of sorts.

I have withdrawn from so much over the past 2 years. The clinic at Bath warned us that people with CRPS tend to do this, and not for a second did I believe them. But you know what? They were right. In actual fact, they have been right about a great deal. I was sceptical at first, but now? I know better. Older wiser and all that. I have withdrawn from so much, and it was slow and gradual and I hardly noticed what I was doing. Not good. But I am determined to rejoin the world one way or another in 2011. This is a start.

So the weekend is here. I think I need a list or 2 to remind me of all the things I intend doing. Like downloading the camera, and other such exciting bits. And I HAVE to decide on the new phone in the next 3 or 4 days. Oh I hate making decisions! However, the battery life has decreased to zilch, and that is no good at all. This decision has been pending since September.

I think my batteries could do with replacement too.

11 comments:

Crystal said...

It's great to hear that you are going to sing again! You will love it, I think. I wish I could come and hear the concert. You are such an inspiration to go through all these things that would stop others and yet you pick yourself up and get on with living.

I must get to work on my birthday bunting - it's for Mel's birthday in early February but it has to get to Nova Scotia. I'm looking forward to seeing yours. I've been rather slow at everything this week - must be the cold and all the snow we've gotten. Off I go to create! Happy weekending, even amidst the sadness and the good-byes.

Donnetta said...

It is wonderful to think of you singing again, especially since it represents returning to pieces of your life. How I wish I lived closer to come listen!

Hoping this weekend brings continued moments to just relax, think and process all that your past week has held.

Stripeyspots said...

I'm excited for you Lindsay! And I agree with you about Les Mis. Every time I try and sing the line "I dreamed a dream..." I choke up. Partly because my singing is so bad (!) :) and partly because it is just so very, very poignant.

Fran said...

The singing sounds a great idea. Although, as you suggest, it can also be very emotional. Still, that's what's good about it, perhaps.

Needled Mom said...

You will thoroughly enjoy your singing. I think we all need to force ourselves to stay involved like that. It could be all too easy to slip into oblivion. I can't wait to hear all about it.

Linda said...

I am so glad you decided to sing again Linds. My husband and I sing in our church choir, and it is a huge blessing. I'm not a great singer - but I thoroughly enjoy being a part of this ministry.
Isn't it good to be more aware of the quiet. I admit, I'm still struggling with my tongue, but I am being intentional about turning off the noise. It is so restful.

Becky said...

I love it that you're going to be singing. Music really is food for the soul.

Laurie in Ca. said...

Choose to warmly accept the fact that slowing down is inevitable and it WILL become a CHOICE:) I am doing this too. I see you moving forward in singing as a good thing since you stopped when you lost Geoff. I am sure it is painful in ways but will be healing too. Love you Linds. Slowing down with you out here in California.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Anonymous said...

Vicky/East Tx...I'm sooo excited for you! I sang in high school...a looong time ago...and it just cleansed my soul in some way. Oh, I sing in church every Sunday from the congregation. I love it, but it's not like singing in a choir. I like what you said, it is time. I'm glad for you. God bless you as you return to your former life..as much as you can. Of course, I realize it will take time. But, a step at a time. Go for it! Have fun!

Dawn said...

As you know, singing in the large Christmas choir has been such a blessing to me - enjoy every moment! The fall show is going to be Gershwin, which I know I would really enjoy - I don't know if I can do two shows back to back, though - such a huge time commitment. We'll see what life is like by then. Have fun!!! Wish I could hear it. It is therapy for me to sing in a good choir.

Midlife Mom said...

I am so happy that you have chosen to start singing again. I think it will be wonderful for you and even if you shed a few tears it will be healing tears. Good for you my friend!!!!!