- Time to relax
- Warm home
- Chat with my daughter
- Powerpoint conquered
And lovely messages from friends who worry about me. Year 10 girls who were stars today, a son who cheerfully unpacks the dishwasher, the prospect of an early night. Lots of little things. They matter.
Tomorrow it will be a year since Geoff's first heart op. A year. It seems like a life time sometimes, and just a blink of time at others. How life has changed in that year. I never for a second considerd the possibility that he might die. He only lived another 4 months. It seems so unreal still. If I could have looked down the tunnel of time a year ago, there is no way on earth I could have envisaged my life as it is today. And thank heavens I am not given to speculation about the future, because I do not want to begin to think about where next year will see us all. The past year has been a rollercoaster of epic proportions.
The one thing I am sure of though, is that the love of family and special friends will continue to be as steadfast as it has always been. Wobbly times are allowed.
So, a year on from back then, just 365 days ago, what is this family's "State of Nation"? Andrew and Ann are happy, settled and working hard. My son has matured into a very special and caring man. I am so proud of him. Diana is settled and happy in New Zealand, and living her life to the full, and likewise, I am so proud of her too. And David is here, and has also matured beyond recognition, into a gentle, happy young man, with his whole life ahead of him. Proud of him? Oh yes.
And me? Teaching full time, being a Mum, daughter, sister, friend. Facing decisions about initiating a lawsuit, inquests, juggling finances, and just managing one day at a time. Housegroup, church, book club and allotment. Books, blogging, emails and long baths. (Drowning books in those baths on a regular basis.) Older. Greyer. Wiser. Quieter. More introspective.
Different. Very different.
And faith? Immeasurably greater. Stronger. Nearer. Refined by fire.
This is not a sad post. I am not sad tonight. Weary. But grateful we have all got this far, and hoping that serenity is not an impossible dream.