Now I do believe I am a reasonable woman. Sometimes. I leaned over the desk and spoke very slowly..... You do realise, don't you, that you have just knocked 5 years off my life by sending me a letter which will make me terrified that something awful has happened? Oh, she said, we didn't mean to alarm you or anything. No????? Rest assured I was alarmed. I was very helpful. I edited the letter to read....... Please contact us about your account, as we really value your custom and would love to see if there is perhaps any way we could assist/serve you in the future. I underlined the serve bit for good measure. And left it for her.
The banking industry needs me to set them straight.