Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Have or have not.......?

I have not seen the Aurora Borealis.
I have not been to Prague.
I have not been in a helicopter.
I have not seen New England in the fall.
I have not earned masses of money.
I have not saved the world.
I have not rafted down the Grand Canyon.
I have not been a great sportswoman.
I have not written a book.
I have not swum at the Great Barrier Reef.
I have not mastered the art of making good shortbread.
I have not been to Disney anything.
I have not been invincible.
I have not performed on a West End stage.
I have not sauntered down a catwalk.
I have not read Harry Potter.
I have not become a famous artist.
I have not owned my dream home.
I have not learned to ski.
I have not managed to look elegant and chic.
I have not got manicured nails or perfect hair.
I have not sailed in the Bahamas or Norwegian fjords.
I have not learned how to fight for myself.
I have not experienced, been to, learned, seen or done a great many things in my life.


However.........


I have cradled the 3 babies I gave birth to, loved and raised.
I have waved goodbye to so many people I love.
I have watched my husband die.
I have sewn love into the quilts I have made.
I have poured my heart into words I have written.
I have learned new skills along the way.
I have watched hundreds of rugby, soccer, hockey, cricket, tennis matches.
I have been to galas, plays, ballet and musical performances.
I have taxi-ed my children all over the place.
I have made friends.
I have had choices, and have made them myself.
I have learned how to teach.
I have laughed a great deal.
I have talked even more.
I have listened.
I have tried my best.
I have been burgled.
I have walked in the mountains I love.
I have bandaged scraped knees.
I have sat and watched the rhythm of the ocean.
I have crossed the world a few times.
I have sat at hospital bedsides.
I have failed at things.
I have watched my son marry the woman he loves.
I have made many mistakes.
I have sung at the top of my voice.
I have made a fool of myself.
I have sailed in a gondola, and on huge container ships.
I have fought battles for those I love.
I have watched the African sun rise over the mountains.
I have read thousands of books.
I have been on a roller coaster.
I have run out of patience.
I have created amazing birthday cakes.
I have held my beautiful grandchild.
I have made this house into a home.
I have watched my children graduate from university.
I have wept when nobody sees.
I have grown lines on my face from passing years, laughter, worry, anger, joy and pain.
I have expanded, contracted and expanded yet again over the years.
I have prayed more prayers than I knew were possible.
I have driven millions of miles.
I have tobogganed down an alp.
I have grown vegetables and flowers and weeds.
I have been hurt, both physically and emotionally.
I have made plans, had dreams and re-arranged the lot.
I have experienced, been to, learned, seen and done a great many things in my life.

It is quite clear that I am not a Barbie doll. I am human. I prefer to be human. The "haves" are not all great. And the "have nots" are not important.

Oh - and as of yesterday, and that final school meeting........

I have been dismissed.

11 comments:

Needled Mom said...

All that you have done is quite an impressive list.

Welcome to official retirement. I am sure it is not the way you planned it, but it will be a good life.

Vee said...

Great lists! I have not done any on your first except for one. It's not tough when that's one's corner of the globe. Your last list is poignant and beautiful and then that zinger. Well good. Now you know. And it didn't take God by surprise!

Morning Glory said...

I'll come back and read when I can stay awahile. I haven't been in blogland for several days, but I just wanted to say I LOVE your template. Good job!!

Dawn said...

Beautiful beautiful! As beautiful as you, my friend! You way with words is an inspiration to me.

I have not read Harry either - never any desire whatsoever!

Glad one thing is finalized - good, bad, or indifferent!

Lisa Marie said...

Lovely Blog post today. The "have nots" really are not that important in the big scheme of things. It's what you "have done" with what God has given you that will only matter in the end. Take care!

Anonymous said...

If you want to write a book or be a famous artist then make it so. The fun is in the journey, the door is open you make your destiny.
Personally I think Disney is over rated. The choice between Paris the city and Paris Disneyland I choose the former.

Ann

Barbara said...

A good portrait of your interesting life Linds.
The blanket is superb.

Diane@Diane's Place said...

The dismissal has been a long time coming. Kind of an anticlimax, hmm?? You've been expecting it, but I know it has to sting a little at the same time.

Another door in your life closes, but other doors will open. More choices as to which doors to go through, and more prayer regarding those choices.

Very thought provoking post, Linds.

Love and hugs,

Diane

Linda said...

You are a gifted writer Linds!
Just think of the adventures that await.

Janine said...

Wow! What a powerful post, Linds. I was ticking things off as I went down the list. Haven't read Harry Potter either! Also haven't read Lord of the Rings to my sister's disappointment!
Clearly time to find a new direction in your life. Maybe teach crochet?! You will be OK whatever you do because you are a survivor.

Mary said...

I love this post. I might even steal the idea ;