I went to the hospital this morning to have the dressings reduced. And I was first. Instead of the nurse in the treatment room I was supposed to see, I was ushered into a cubicle and I saw the Consultant. This is what lodging a complaint with the hospital does.
And you know what he spent 20 minutes telling me? That the arthritis in my knee was wear and tear. That it had nothing to do with the injury. That even though parts of my knee had no evidence of arthritis at all, the damage to my kneecap was extensive. He said that no, I would not be able to walk up and down mountains without pain., That no, I would not be able to crawl round the floor with my grandchildren. That no, they would not be doing anything about the knee, but that I may have some pain syndrome thingy and so would be managing the pain with hefty painkillers. Pain syndrome thing? I think not. I am not imagining anything.
I hate taking medicine. I avoid it as much as possible. He hardly mentioned the medial ligament and the damage to it. He did mention that they had braced the knee for that. I pointed out that that was 7 weeks after the injury. He mentioned something re physio may help something, but no plan. He said come back in 3 weeks to see what is happening with the pain.
He said arthritis was wear and tear. I had done my homework. I said there was also post traumatic arthritis, which happened after an injury. He dismissed that. You can't get such extensive damage so quickly, he says. Hmmmm. I rather think it may be possible if you have no treatment for the injury when it happens. My GP says I have never had any arthritis problems in my knees. I came home, burst into tears had a total meltdown for a while, and called to make an appointment with her this afternoon. I will ask her to arrange for a second opinion.
I have been signed off work for another three weeks. I am thinking I will send in a letter of resignation with the sick note. I am also thinking that I have had enough. Enough of all of it. I just want to go. To be somewhere else. Not here. I am so tired of fighting battles. He says drive if I can control the car. I will go and try in a bit.
So there you have it. Diabolical. How do I keep it from getting worse? I have no idea. The sun may be shining, but I am not happy.