It is supposed to reach 17 degrees C here today. I feel this may be a trifle optimistic at the moment. It is cold! I am not sleeping much at night - and I have run out of things to read. You get the general mood.
Tomorrow I go to see my GP, and hopefully we can discuss what has happened so far, what will happen next and what the heck is happening inside my knee, but, I do not hold out great hopes for anything illuminating. The arthroscopy was basically to see what was going on, and to clean out anything evident not needing much effort. And because I have not seen hide or hair of the consultant since 2 August 2008, I have no idea what he thinks. And i still have no treatment plan.
And yes, it is ridiculous. I have the distinct disadvantage here of having grown up in a place where, if you are injured, you immediately see a specialist, who immediately orders tests, oversees all immediate treatment him/ or herself, and you are fixed. You deal with one person who sees you regularly and alters or amends your treatment plan as it is needed. I understand that the NHS works differently, but that doesn't mean I forget how things SHOULD work in a First World country.
So you may say I am a trifle frustrated. I come so close to wanting to just say oh forget it, and then I remember that I will want to crawl around on the floor with my grandchildren. I will want to walk in the Alps. I will want to keep driving. I will want to be as flexible and mobile as I was 4 months ago. I need my knee to work.
I do believe that this is a blue Monday. Well. It is right this moment. I am not a ray of sunshine right now.